Krishna's Corner

Lession in Life

2011-12-21T10:23:00.000-08:00

1.Do Not Interfere In Others' Business Unless Asked.

Most of us create our own problems by interfering too often in others' affairs. We do so because somehow we have convinced ourselves that our way is the best way, our logic is the perfect logic and those who do not conform to our thinking must be criticized and steered to the right direction, our direction. This thinking denies the existence of individuality and consequently the existence of God. God has created each one of usin a unique way. No two human beings can think or act in exactly the same way. All men or women act the way they do because God within them prompts them that way. There is God to look after everything. Why are you bothered? Mind your own business and you will keep Your peace.

2. Forgive And Forget.

This is the most powerful aid to peace of mind. We often develop ill feelings inside our heart for the person who insults us or harms us. We nurture grievances. This in turn results in loss of sleep, development of stomach ulcers, and high blood pressure. This insult or injury was done once, but nourishing of grievance goes on forever by constantly remembering it. Get over this bad habit. Believe in the justice of God and the doctrine of Karma. Let Him judge the act of the one who insulted you. Life is too short to waste in such trifles. Forgive, Forget, and march on. Love flourishes in giving and forgiving.

3. Do Not Crave For Recognition.

This world is full of selfish people. They seldom praise anybody without selfish motives. They may praise you today because you are in power, but no sooner than you are powerless; they will forget your achievement and will start finding faults in you. Why do you wish to kill yourself in striving for their recognition? Their recognition is not worth the aggravation. Do your duties ethically and sincerely
and leave the rest to God.

4. Do Not Be Jealous.

We all have experienced how jealousy can disturb our peace of mind. You know that you work harder than your colleagues in the office, but sometimes they get promotions; you do not. You started a business several years ago, but you are not as successful as your neighbor whose business is only one year old. There are several examples like these in everyday life. Should you be jealous? No. Remember everybody's life is shaped by his or her previous Karma, which has now become his destiny. If you are destined to be rich, nothing in the world can stop you. If you are not so destined, no one can help you either. Nothing will be gained by blaming others for your misfortune. Jealousy will not get you anywhere; it will only take away your peace of mind.

5. Change Yourself According To The Environment.

If you try to change the environment single-handedly, the chances are you will fail. Instead, change yourself to suit your environment. As you do this, even the environment, which has been unfriendly to you, will mysteriously change and seem congenial and harmonious.

6. Endure What Cannot Be Cured.

This is the best way to turn a disadvantage into an advantage. Every day we face numerous inconveniences, ailments, irritations, and accidents that are beyond our control. If we cannot control them or change them, we must learn to put up with these things. We must learn to endure them cheerfully thinking, "God wills it so, so be it." God's plan is beyond our comprehension. Believe in it and you will gain in terms of patience, inner strength and will power.

7. Do Not Bite Off More Than You Can Chew.

This maxim needs to be remembered constantly. We often tend to take more responsibilities than we are capable of carrying out. This is done to satisfy our ego. Know your limitations. Why take on additional loads that may create more worries? You cannot gain peace of mind by expanding your external activities. Reduce your material engagements and spend time in prayer, introspection and meditation. This will reduce those thoughts in your mind that make you restless. Uncluttered mind will produce greater peace of mind.

8. Meditate Regularly.

Meditation calms the mind and gets rid of disturbing thoughts. This is the highest state of peace of mind. Try and experience it yourself. If you meditate earnestly for half an hour everyday, your mind will tend to become peaceful during the remaining twenty-three and half-hours. Your mind will not be easily disturbed as it was before. You would benefit by gradually increasing the period of daily mediation. You may think that this will interfere with your daily work. On the contrary, this will increase your efficiency and you will be able to produce better results in less time.

9. Never Leave The Mind Vacant.

An empty mind is the devil's workshop. All evil actions start in the vacant mind. Keep your mind occupied in something positive, something wor thwhile. Actively follow a hobby. Do something that holds your interest. You must decide what you value more: money or peace of mind. Your hobby, like social work or temple work, may not always earn you more money, but you will have a sense of fulfillment and achievement. Even when you are resting physically, occupy yourself in healthy reading or mental chanting of God's name.

10. Do Not Procrastinate And Never Regret.

Do not waste time in protracted wondering "Should I or shouldn't I?" Days, weeks, months, and years may be wasted in that futile mental debating. You can never plan enough because you can never anticipate all future happenings. Always remember, God has His own plan, too for you. Value your time and do the things that need to be done. It does not matter if you fail the first time. You can learn from your mistakes and succeed the next time. Sitting back and worrying will lead to nothing. Learn from your mistakes, but do not brood over the past. DO NOT REGRET. Whatever happened was destined to happen only that way. Take it as the Will of God. You do not have the power to alter the course of God's Will. Why cry over spilt milk?

May God help you remain at peace with yourself and the world around you!!!!!!

Dirt(Moral Story)!

2011-11-01T13:10:00.000-07:00

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!*

MORAL:*
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happens.

3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less from people but more from God.

Funny Universal Laws

2011-10-24T13:38:00.001-07:00

1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

5. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

6. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

7. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

8. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

9. Law of Bio-mechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

10. Law of the Theater or sports Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

11. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

12. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

13. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

14. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

15. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

16. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

17. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

18. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.

Never be a Developer -- a must read :)

2011-10-17T01:51:00.000-07:00

Introduction:

Roshan D'Mello (QA Tester)

Mukesh Thakur (Developer)

Roshan D'Mello: Hey Mukesh, there is a bug in your code. Type a text in username text box and press enter. Beep sound doesn't appear.

Mukesh Thakur: How can that be a bug? There is no requirement that beep sound should come. Anyway, I will assign it to offshore and get it fixed.

After 2 days,

Mukesh Thakur : Roshan, bug is fixed. Please verify.

After another 2 days,

Roshan D'Mello : I have re-opened the bug because sound is not coming in some PCs. Sound is coming in my machine, but my colleague Rajat Choudhry is not getting the sound.

After another 2 days,

Mukesh Thakur : Not a bug. I observed that your friend Rajat Choudhry has Old IBM machine. Unlike your DELL machine, IBM machines do not have inbuilt speakers. So, to hear the sound in Rajat Choudhry's machine, please use head phones and then get the bug closed soon.

Another 2 days,

Roshan D'Mello : I have re-opened the bug because sound tone is Different across different machines. Sound is coming as 'BEEP' in my machine, but My colleague Rajat Choudhry who is having IBM machine is getting the sound as 'TONG'.

Mukesh Thakur : Not a bug. Get lost man. What can we do for the bug? The Two machines are built in such a way that they produce different sounds. Do You expect the developers to rebuild the IBM processors to make them uniform?

Please close it.

Another 2 days,

Roshan D'Mello : I have re-opened the bug because intensity of beep Sound produced on 2 different DELL machines is different. My machine produces Beep sound of intensity 10 decibels whereas my friend's machine produces Sound worth 20 decibels. Fix your code to make the sound uniform across all machines.

Another 2 days later,

Mukesh Thakur : Once again it is not a bug. I have noticed that the Volume set is different on the two machines. Ensure that volume is same in both The machines before I get mad and then close the bug.

Another 2 days,

Roshan D'Mello : I have re-opened the bug.

Mukesh Thakur : What ?? Why? What more stupid reasons can be there for re-opening?

Roshan D'Mello: Sound intensity is different for machines placed at different locations (different buildings). So, I have re-opened it.

After 2 days,

Mukesh Thakur : I have made some scientists do an acoustical analysis of the two buildings you used for testing. They have observed that the acoustics in the two buildings varies to a large extent. That is why sound intensity is different across the 2 buildings. So, I beg you to please close the bugs.

After 1 year

Roshan D'Mello : I am re-opeing the bug. During the year, I requested The clients to arrange architects to build two buildings with same Acoustical features, so that I can test it again. Now, when I tested, I found that intensity of sound still varying. So, I am re-opening the defect.

Mukesh Thakur : GROWLLLL.....I am really mad now. I am sure that the Sound waves of the two buildings are getting distorted due to some background noice or something. Now I need to waste time to prove that it is because of background noice.

Roshan D'Mello : No need for that. We will put the machines and run

them in vacuum and see.

Mukesh Thakur: ??

Result-----------------------

Mukesh Thakur is now in mental asylum while Roshan D'Mello has become QA Manager.

(Source: Richa Rawat Ranjan)

Jokes!

2011-06-28T16:41:00.000-07:00

Degree by boys for girls!
B.A - BEAUTIFUL ANGEL
B.E - BEAUTIFUL EYES
B.SC - BEAUTIFUL STRUCTURE
B.COM - BEAUTIFUL COMMUNICATION
M.B.A. - MARRIED BUT AWESOME
M.B.S.- MARRIED BUT SEXY
M.B.B.S.- MARRIED BUT BEAUTIFUL & SEXY
B.B.A.- BEAUTIFUL BACHELOR ANGEL

**************************************

If a girl is not in love with any boy, she is missing something in life!
If a boy is in love with a girl, He’ll miss Everything in life..!!

**************************************

Why do we sometimz write "etc" in examz?
bcoz it means
e-end of
t-thinking
c-capacity
nobody understands students feelings!!
crazy world!!!!!!

**************************************

GODS are also I.T. Engineers
BRAHMA
System installer
VISNU
System supporter
SHIV
System Programmer
NAARAD
Data transfer
YAM
Deleter
MENKA
Virus

***********************************************

Facebook's founder Mark Zukerberg hospitalized wid serious injury..
reason??
Rajnikant poked him on facebook..

************************************************

Advocate:They will charge Rs. 1001 for divorce.
Husband:-Are you mad?Pandit charge me only Rs. 101 for
Advocat:-See the effects of cheapness!

*************************************************

Banta asked Santa for the reason of getting slapped by a woman.
Banta: Santa, you did you get slapped by the woman?
Santa: It was minor, My photo dropped near the woman and I just asked her to draw up the Saree to take photo; then she slapped me ....

Facebook Addiction...!!!

2011-04-24T03:10:00.000-07:00

The 76-year-old woman walked down the hallway of Clearview Addictions Clinic, searching for the right department. She passed signs for the "Heroin Addiction Department (HAD)," the "Smoking Addiction Department (SAD)" and the "Bingo Addiction Department (BAD)." Then she spotted the department she was looking for: "Facebook Addiction Department (FAD)."

It was the busiest department in the clinic, with about three dozen people filling the waiting room, most of them staring blankly into their Blackberries and iPhones. A middle-aged man with unkempt hair was pacing the room, muttering,"I need to milk my cows. I need to milk my cows."

A twenty-something man was prone on the floor, his face buried in his hands, while a curly-haired woman comforted him.

"Don't worry. It'll be all right."

"I just don't understand it. I thought my update was LOL-worthy, but none of my friends even clicked the 'like' button."

"How long has it been?"

"Almost five minutes. That's like five months in the real world."

The 76-year-old woman waited until her name was called, then followed the receptionist into the office of Alfred Zulu, Facebook Addiction Counselor.

"Please have a seat, Edna," he said with a warm smile. "And tell me how it all started."

"Well, it's all my grandson's fault. He sent me an invitation to join Facebook. I had never heard of Facebook before, but I thought it was something for me, because I usually have my face in a book."

"How soon were you hooked?"

"Faster than you can say 'create a profile.' I found myself on Facebook at least eight times each day -- and more times at night. Sometimes I'd wake up in the middle of the night to check it, just in case there was an update from one of my new friends in India . My husband didn't like that. He said that friendship is a precious thing and should never be outsourced."

"What do you like most about Facebook?"

"It makes me feel like I have a life. In the real world, I have only five or six friends, but on Facebook, I have 674. I'm even friends with Juan Carlos Montoya."

"Who's he?"

"I don't know, but he's got 4,000 friends, so he must be famous."

"Facebook has helped you make some connections, I see."

"Oh yes. I've even connected with some of the gals from high school -- I still call them 'gals.' I hadn't heard from some of them in ages, so it was exciting to look at their profiles and figure out who's retired, who's still working, and who's had some work done. I love browsing their photos and reading their updates. I know where they've been on vacation, which movies they've watched, and whether they hang their toilet paper over or under. I've also been playing a game with some of them."

"Let me guess. Farmville?"

"No, Mafia Wars. I'm a Hitman. No one messes with Edna."

"Wouldn't you rather meet some of your friends in person?"

"No, not really. It's so much easier on Facebook. We don't need to gussy ourselves up. We don't need to take baths or wear perfume or use mouthwash. That's the best thing about Facebook -- you can't smell anyone. Everyone is attractive, because everyone has picked a good profile pic. One of the gals is using a profile pic that was taken, I'm pretty certain, during the Eisenhower Administration. "

"What pic are you using?"

"Well, I spent five hours searching for a profile pic, but couldn't find one I really liked. So I decided to visit the local beauty salon."

"To make yourself look prettier?"

"No, to take a pic of one of the young ladies there. That's what I'm using."

"Didn't your friends notice that you look different?"

"Some of them did, but I just told them I've been doing lots of yoga."

"When did you realise that your Facebooking might be a problem?"

"I realised it last Sunday night, when I was on Facebook and saw a message on my wall from my husband: 'I moved out of the house five days ago. Just thought you should know.'"

"What did you do?"

"What else? I unfriended him of course!"

Most toughest questions from girls!!!

2011-03-29T14:03:00.000-07:00

The questions are:

1. What are you thinking about?
2. Do you love me?
3. Do I look fat?
4. Do you think she is prettier than me?
5. What would you do if I died?

What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible responses.

Question # 1: What are you thinking about?
The proper answer to this, of course, is: "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you." This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following:

1. Baseball.
2. Football.
3. How fat you are.
4. How much prettier she is than you.
5. How I would spend the insurance money if you died.

(Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy,who once told Peg, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!")

Question # 2: Do you love me?
The proper response is: "YES!" or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, "Yes, dear." Inappropriate responses include:
1. I suppose so.
2. Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
3. That depends on what you mean by love.
4. Does it matter?
5. Who, me?

Question # 3: Do I look fat?
The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course not!" Among the incorrect answers are:
1. Compared to what?
2. I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin.
3. A little extra weight looks good on you.
4. I've seen fatter.
5. Could you repeat the question?
I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.

Question # 4: Do you think she's prettier than me?
Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: "Of course not!"
Incorrect responses include:
1. Yes, but you have a better personality
2. Not prettier, but definitely thinner
3. Not as pretty as you, when you were her age
4. Define 'pretty'
5. Could you repeat the question?
I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.

Question #5: What would you do if I died?
A definite no-win question. (The real answer, or course, is "Buy a Corvette.")No matter how you answer this, be prepared for at least an hour of follow-up questions,usually along the these lines:

She....Would you get married again?
He.....Definitely not!
She....Why not - don't you like being married?
He.....Of course I do.
She....Then why wouldn't you remarry?
He.....Okay, I'd get married again.
She....You would? (With a hurtful look on her face)
He.....Yes, I would.
She....Would you sleep with her in our bed?
He.....Where else would we sleep?
She....Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her?
He.....That would seem like the proper thing to do.
She....And would you let her use my golf clubs?
He.....She can't use them; she's left-handed.

One day, while a woodcutter....

2011-03-26T15:52:00.000-07:00

One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river,
his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked,
"Why are you crying?" The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into
water, and he needed the axe to make his living.

The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe.

"Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver axe.

"Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron axe.

"Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "Yes."

The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to
keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the
riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord
again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?"

"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with Jennifer Lopez.

"Is this your wife?" the Lord asked.

"Yes," cried the woodcutter.

The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"

The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding.
You see, if I had said 'no' to Jennifer Lopez, You would have come up with
Catherine Zeta-Jones. Then if I also said 'no' to her, you would have come
up with my wife. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three.
Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives, so
THAT'S why I said yes to Jennifer Lopez."
:)

Never Give Up!

2011-03-07T14:22:00.000-08:00

One day a young lady was driving along with her father.
They came upon a storm, and the young lady asked her father, What should I do?"
He said "keep driving". Cars began to pull over to the side, the storm was
Getting worse.

"What should I do." The young lady asked?

"Keep driving," her father replied.

On up a few feet, she noticed that eighteen wheelers were also pulling over.
She told her dad, "I must pull over, I can barely see ahead. It is
Terrible, and everyone is pulling over!"

Her father told her, "Don't give up, just keep driving!"

Now the storm was terrible, but she never stopped driving, and soon she
Could see a little more clearly. After a couple of miles she was again on
Dry land, and the sun came out.

Her father said, "Now you can pull over and get out."

She said "But why now?"

He said "When you get out, look back at all the people that gave up and are
Still in the storm, because you never gave up your storm is now over.

This is a testimony for anyone who is going through "hard times".

Just because everyone else, even the strongest, gives up. You don't have
To...if you keep going, soon your storm will be over and the sun will shine
Upon your face again.

Undergraduate Joke!

2011-02-24T10:50:00.000-08:00

One day, a very attractive under graduate visited the professor's
office. The under graduate pulled the chair closer to the professor,
smiled at him shyly, bumped his knee "accidentally", etc.

Finally, the undergraduate said, "Professor, I really need to pass
your course. It is extremely important to me. It is so important that
I'll do anything you suggest."

The professor, somewhat taken aback by this attention, replied, "Anything?"

To which the undergradute cooed, "Yes, anything you say."

After some brief reflection, the professor asked, "What are you doing
tomorrow afternoon at 3:30?"

The student lied, "Oh, nothing at all, sir. I can be free then."

The professor then advised, "Excellent! Professor Palmer is holding a
help session for his students. Why don't you attend that."

May I know the time please ??

2011-01-22T13:29:00.001-08:00

Young Man: Sir, may I know the time, please? Old Man: Certainly not.

Young Man: Sir, but why? What are you going to loose,if you tell me the time?

Old Man: Yes, I may loose something if I tell you the time.

Young Man: But Sir, can you tell me how?

Old Man : See, if I tell you the time you will definitely thank me and may be tomorrow again you will ask me the time.

Young Man: Quite possible.

Old Man: May be we meet two three times more and you will ask my name and address.

Young Man: Quite possible.

Old Man: One day you may come to my house saying you were just passing by and came in to wish me.

Then as a courtsey, I will offer you a cup of tea.

After my courteous approach you will try to come again.This time you will appreciate tea and ask who has made it.?

Young Man: Possible

Old Man: Then I will tell you that my daughter has and I will then have to introduce my young and pretty daughter to you and you will admire my daughter.

Young Man: Smiles. ;)

Old Man: Now onwards you will try to meet my daughter again and again. You will offer her to go out for a movie together and a date with you.

Young Man: Smiles

Old Man: My daughter may start liking you and start waiting for you. After meeting regularly you will fall in love with her and propose her for marriage.

Young Man: Smiles

Old Man: One day both of you will come to me and tell me about your love and ask for my permission.

Young Man: Oh Yes! And smiles

Old Man: (Angrily) Young man, I will never marry my daughter to a person like you who does not even own a watch.

:D

Easy and Difficult

2011-01-22T13:21:00.001-08:00

Easy is to get a place in someone's address book.
Difficult is to get a place in someone's heart.

Easy is to judge the mistakes of others
Difficult is to recognize our own mistakes

Easy is to talk without thinking
Difficult is to refrain the tongue

Easy is to hurt someone who loves us.
Difficult is to heal the wound...

Easy is to forgive others
Difficult is to ask for forgiveness

Easy is to set rules.
Difficult is to follow them...

Easy is to dream every night.
Difficult is to fight for a dream...

Easy is to show victory.
Difficult is to assume defeat with dignity...

Easy is to admire a full moon.
Difficult to see the other side...

Easy is to stumble with a stone.
Difficult is to get up...

Easy is to enjoy life every day.
Difficult to give its real value...

Easy is to pray every night.
Difficult is to find god in small things...

Easy is to promise something to someone.
Difficult is to fulfill that promise...

Easy is to say we love.
Difficult is to show it every day...

Easy is to criticize others.
Difficult is to improve oneself...

Easy is to make mistakes.
Difficult is to learn from them...

Easy is to weep for a lost love.
Difficult is to take care of it so not to lose it.

Easy is to think about improving.
Difficult is to stop thinking it and put it into action...

Easy is to think bad of others
Difficult is to give them the benefit of the doubt...

Easy is to receive
Difficult is to give

Easy to read this
Difficult to follow

Easy is keep the friendship with words
Difficult is to keep it with meanings.

Man O Man ...!!

2011-01-22T13:17:00.000-08:00

When without money, eats wild vegetables at home
When has money, eats same wild vegetables in fine restaurant.

When without money, rides bicycle;
When has money, rides exercise machine.

When without money, walks to earn food
When has money, walks to lose the fat

Man O Man !
never fails to deceive thyself !

When without money, wishes to get married;
When has money, wishes to get divorced.

When without money, wife becomes secretary;
When has money, secretary becomes wife.

When without money, acts like rich man;
When has money, acts like poor man.

Man, O Man,
never can tell the simple truth !

Says share market is bad but keeps speculating;
Says money is evil but keeps accumulating.
Says high positions are lonely but keeps wanting them.
Says gambling & drinking is bad but keeps indulging;

Man O Man !
Never means what he says and never says what he means!

JOKES!!!

2010-12-05T04:34:00.000-08:00

Chemistry Teacher :- Tom, tell me the chemical symbol of Barium.
Tom :- BA.
Chemistry Teacher :- Good. So tell me the chemical symbol of Sodium.Tom :- NA.
Chemistry Teacher :- Excellent. So tell me what we will get if we combile 1 atom of Barium and 2 atoms of Sodium.
Tom :- BANANA.

Another Problem Caused by Deforestation

2010-11-26T14:44:00.001-08:00

Blonde Detective Training............

2010-11-24T10:32:00.001-08:00

A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The first blonde answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"

The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture shows his profile."

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"

The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it's a picture of his profile!! Is that the best answer you can come up with?

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" He quickly adds" . . . Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."

The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "Hmmmm . . . The suspect wears contact lenses."

The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer . . . Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."

He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. "Wow! I can't believe it...it's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"

"That's easy," the blonde replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear.

Inspiring Story!!!

2010-11-20T08:48:00.000-08:00

One young academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial
position in a big company.

He passed the first interview, the director did the last interview,
made the last decision.

The director discovered from the CV that the youth's academic
achievements were excellent all the way, from the secondary school
until the postgraduate research, never had a year when he did not
score.

The director asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships in school?" the
youth answered "none".

The director asked, " Was it your father who paid for your school
fees?" The youth answered, "My father passed away when I was one year
old, it was my mother who paid for my school fees.

The director asked, " Where did your mother work?" The youth answered,
"My mother worked as clothes cleaner. The director requested the youth
to show his hands. The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth
and perfect.

The director asked, " Have you ever helped your mother wash the
clothes before?" The youth answered, "Never, my mother always wanted
me to study and read more books. Furthermore, my mother can wash
clothes faster than me.

The director said, "I have a request. When you go back today, go and
clean your mother's hands, and then see me tomorrow morning.*

The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he
went back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands.
His mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her
hands to the kid.

The youth cleaned his mother's hands slowly. His tear fell as he did
that. It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so
wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises
were so painful that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with
water.

This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of
hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school
fee. The bruises in the mother's hands were the price that the mother
had to pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future.

After finishing the cleaning of his mother hands, the youth quietly
washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.

That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.

Next morning, the youth went to the director's office.

The Director noticed the tears in the youth's eyes, asked: " Can you
tell me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?"

The youth answered, " I cleaned my mother's hand, and also finished
cleaning all the remaining clothes'

The Director asked, " please tell me your feelings."

The youth said, Number 1, I know now what is appreciation. Without my
mother, there would not the successful me today. Number 2, by working
together and helping my mother, only I now realize how difficult and
tough it is to get something done. Number 3, I have come to appreciate
the importance and value of family relationship.

The director said, " This is what I am looking for to be my manager.
I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a
person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a
person who would not put money as his only goal in life. You are
hired.

Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect
of his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and as a team.
The company's performance improved tremendously.

A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he
wanted, would develop "entitlement mentality" and would always put
himself first. He would be ignorant of his parent's efforts. When he
starts work, he assumes that every person must listen to him, and when
he becomes a manager, he would never know the sufferings of his
employees and would always blame others. For this kind of people, who
may be good academically, may be successful for a while, but
eventually would not feel sense of achievement. He will grumble and be
full of hatred and fight for more. If we are this kind of protective
parents, are we really showing love or are we destroying the kid
instead?*

You can let your kid live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn
piano, watch a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please
let them experience it. After a meal, let them wash their plates and
bowls together with their brothers and sisters. It is not because you
do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love
them in a right way. You want them to understand, no matter how rich
their parents are, one day their hair will grow gray, same as the
mother of that young person. The most important thing is your kid
learns how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and
learns the ability to work with others to get things done.

(Courtesy: Ansar Rafique, Student, Uppsala University)

What an Awesome Reply!!!

2010-06-24T23:14:00.000-07:00

It was a hot meeting at the office conference hall. All the people from the department had been called. The VP was looking much tensed.

The mood was so bad. My friend asked me -”Hey, what is this meeting all about? I told – May be they will decide on when to have the next meeting. People around smiled at each other.

Then the VP started talking. It was about the recent attrition rate that was so high. Around 10 people had put in their papers. All experienced guys. It was quarter end and so work was huge. If we do not complete the work on time, we need to be paying heavy penalty said the VP. The VP turned to the manager and told “Hey – take how much ever resources you want. Recruit or take them from other departments. But complete the work in another 25 days. Take people and complete it man.

To this the sweet manager replied “Sir! Give me one wife and nine months and I shall show you results. Don’t give me nine wives and one month. I cannot do anything.” Everyone looked at him blank. The VP was not prepared for this answer. We looked at the manager and thought “What an Awesome Reply man!”

Legal and Logical!!!

2010-03-05T04:14:00.000-08:00

After having failed his exam in "Logistics and Organization", a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.

Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?"

Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!"

Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an "A" for the exam. "

Professor: "Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?"

Student: "What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal?"

Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an "A", as agreed.

Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.

He immediately answers: "Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife's lover an "A", although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical."

Kisses after Swine Flue :)

2009-11-17T01:19:00.000-08:00

Fail !!!

2009-10-24T09:07:00.000-07:00

Managers N Boss!!!

2009-09-22T10:28:00.000-07:00

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting.On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.

The ghost says,"Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each"

So the eager senior manager shouted,"I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries."Pufffff. and he was gone. Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be In Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails." Pufffff. and he was also gone.

The boss calmly said, "I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12.35pm."

Moral: "ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSS TO SPEAK FIRST"

What Happens To IT Professional After Death!!!

2009-09-09T02:28:00.001-07:00

1.PROGRAMMERS

2. NETWORK EXPERT

3. HTML/XML EXPERT

DRINK is equal to YOG!!!

2009-09-07T03:35:00.000-07:00

(Note:if you are nondrinker, dont start drinking)

Bubble in the Bathtub!!!

2009-08-28T05:14:00.000-07:00

A new lady teacher came to teach 8th standard students.

As it was the first day, she gave her intro, and asked all the students to Introduce themselves with name and hobby.

She said, " Let's start with the boys first."

Boys start giving their intro...

First boy: "My name is John, and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub."

Teacher was confused to listen but said, "Interesting.

Well, Ok. In fact, we must be honest in telling the hobby. And after all there is essentially a child in each of us. So it's ok John. Yes next."

Second boy: "Myself Peter and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub."

Teacher now got surprised and said, "Good. I like the spirit of supporting a friend. Ok next. "

This continues...

and the last boy stands up "I'm Harry and my hobby is to see bubble in the Bathtub. "

Exhausted, the teacher said, "I don't think I will be able to teach un-grown boys for long.

Anyway, now the girls please. "

First girl: "I'm Julie and my hobby is to see birds."

Teacher: "Good. At last I got something different. OK next."

Second girl: "I'm Ruby and I like to collect perfumes."

Teacher "Now it's like educated grown up girls. Ok next. You sweet girl;

Yes you... "

Most beautiful girl of the class:

"Madam, my name is 'Bubble', and my hobby is to take bath three times a day."

Teacher Fainted!!!

(Provided By: Santosh Shrestha, software engineer)

Kids Are Quick!!!

2009-08-21T02:02:00.000-07:00

__________________________________________
TEACHER: Maria , go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria .
____________________________________________
TEACHER: John , why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
____________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn , how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this kid)
____________________________________________
TEACHER: Donald , what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________
TEACHER: Winnie , name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glen , why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie , give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie ....... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet..'
________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie , do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, sir. It's the same dog.
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold , what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
__________________________________

(Provided By: Preveena Govindaraja)

Deciding The Days!!! (18+)

2009-08-19T01:37:00.000-07:00

A young wife, who was becoming frustrated with her young husbands constant demands for sex, decides to make a schedule for him, to cut down on the amount of times that they will have to make love for the rest of their marriage.

While getting ready for work, she writes on a piece of paper, "Honey, you know I love you, but your never ending requests for sex are leaving me drained and really tired. So I propose that we only have sex on days that start with the letter 'T', to minimize the frequency of our lovemaking sessions. Don't be mad at me honey, just understand where I am coming from, and let me know if my request is too demanding of you."

On her way out the door, she uses a refrigerator magnet and sticks the note to the fridge door, hoping that her sex craved husband will be understanding and accepting of her proposal when he reads it.

Upon returning home, she glances at the refrigerator and notices that her note has been replaced with a note from her husband that reads, "Baby, I didn't' realize that I was putting you under so much pressure and I'm sorry.

I accept your proposal and have even taken the extra step of listing at the bottom of this letter, those days starting with the letter 'T' to make sure that we are on the same page.

1. TUESDAY

2. THURSDAY

3. TODAY

4. TOMORROW

P.S. I love you too, and remember it's still TODAY, I am waiting for you upstairs."

Men's Thought (18+)...

2009-08-19T01:27:00.000-07:00

1. When I was born, I was given a choice - A big d*ck or a good memory.. I don't remember, what I chose !!

2. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects !!

3. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'

4. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men -
'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together !!

5. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on
earth !!

6. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly and Try Weakly !!

7. Virginity can be cured !!

8. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity !!

9. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand !!

10. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small !!

11. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy !!

12. Q: What's an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under !!

13. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy
with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing !!

14. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks and wife doesn't !!

15. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes !!

16. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives!!

(Provided By: Anonymous)

39 Interesting Facts You Might Be Unaware!!!

2009-08-16T00:27:00.000-07:00

1. The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."

2. "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt"

3. Almonds are members of the peach family.

4. The symbol on the "pound" key (#) is called an octothorpe.

5. The dot over the letter 'i' is called a tittle.

6. Ingrown toenails are hereditary.

7. The word "set" has more definitions than any other word in the English language.

8. "Underground" is the only word in the English language that begins and ends with the letters "und."

9. There are only four words in the English language which end in "-dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

10. The longest word in the English language, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, is pneumonoultramicros copicsilicovolca noconiosis.

11. The only other word with the same amount of letters is its plural: pneumonoultramicros copicsilicovolca noconiosesl.

12. The longest place-name still in use is Taumatawhakatangiha ngakoauauotamate aturipukakapikim aungahoronukupok aiwe-nuakit natahu, a New Zealand hill.

13. Los Angeles's full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reinade los Angeles de Porciuncula" and can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size,L.A.

14. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

15. Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

16. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button. It was eliminated when he was sewn up after surgery.

17. Telly Savalas and Louis Armstrong died on their birthdays.

18. Donald Duck's middle name is Fauntleroy.

19. The muzzle of a lion is like a fingerprint - no two lions have the same pattern of whiskers.

21. A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.

23. There is a seven-letter word in the English language that contains ten words without rearranging any of its letters, "therein": the,there, he, in, rein, her, here, ere, therein, herein.

24. Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.

26. A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

27. It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

28. Cranberries are sorted for ripeness by bouncing them; a fully ripened cranberry can be dribbled like a basketball.

30. The letters KGB stand for Komitet Gosudarstvennoy Bezopasnosti

31. 'Stewardesses' is the longest English word that is typed with only the left hand.

33. The combination "ough" can be pronounced in nine different ways; the following sentence contains them all: "A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and hiccoughed."

34. The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.

35. Facetious and abstemious contain all the vowels in the correct order, as does arsenious, meaning "containing arsenic."

36. Emus and kangaroos cannot walk backwards, and are on the Australian seal for that reason.

37. Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten.

38. The word "Checkmate" in chess comes from the Persian phrase "Shah Mat," which means "the king is dead."

39. The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days of yore when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases.

3 Stupid Stages of Life!!!

2009-08-09T21:50:00.000-07:00

Teen age:
Have Time + Energy …but No Money

Working Age:
Have Money + Energy …but No Time

Old age:
Have Time + Money …but no Energy

(Provided By: Shriti Shrestha, Software Engineer)

Leave Applications!!!

2009-08-01T21:20:00.000-07:00

1. Infosys, Bangalore: An employee applied for leave as follows: "Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave."

2. This is from Oracle Bangalore. From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son: "As I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."

3. Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding: "As I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."

4. From H.A.L. Administration dept: "As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."

Another employee applied for half day leave as follows: "Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o'clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"

6. An incident of a leave letter "I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday."

7. A leave letter to the headmaster: "As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"

8. Another leave letter written to the headmaster: "As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."

9. Covering note: "I am enclosed herewith..."

10. Another one: "Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..."

11. Actual letter written for application of leave: "My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".

12. Letter writing: - "I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well."

13. A candidate's job application: "This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post.

What Women Say for their Happiness!!!

2009-08-01T09:19:00.000-07:00

1. We got off the Titanic first.

2. We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.

3. We never ejaculate prematurely.

4. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

5. When we buy a vibrator it's glamorous. When men buy a blow-up doll, it's pathetic.

6. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

7. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

8. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

9. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.

10. Taxis stop for us.

11. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

12. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

13. Free drinks, free dinners, free moving (you get the point?).

14. We can hug our friend without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

15. We know the truth about whether size matters.

16. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

17. If we have sex with someone and don't call the next day, we're not the devil.

18. Condoms make no significant difference in our enjoyment of sex.

19. We can sleep our way to the top.

20. Nothing crucial can be cut off with one clean sweep.

21. It is possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

22. No fashion faux pas we make could rival Speedos.

23. It's cool to be a daddy's girl. It's sad to be a mommy's boy.

24. If we cheat on our spouse, people assume it's because we're being emotionally neglected.

25. We never have to wonder if his orgasm was real.

26. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

27. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her arse.

28. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

29. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

30. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

31. We have an excuse to be a total bitch at least once a month.

32. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

33. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

34. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

35. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

36. Gay waiters don't make us uncomfortable.

37. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

38. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

POETIC RESIGNATION!!!

2009-07-28T03:46:00.000-07:00

Employee Resignation
--------------------------

The name is good, the brand is big
But the work I do is that of a pig

The work or the brand; what is my way?
I don't know if I should stay.

To work, they have set their own way
Nobody will care to hear what I say

My will be NULL, they wont change their way
I don't know if I should stay.

The project is in a critical stage
But to do good work, this is the age

This dilemma is killing me day by day
I don't know if I should stay.

The money is good, the place is great
But the development is at a very small rate

Should I go for the work, or wait for pay
I don't know if I should stay!

The managers don't know what they talk
The team doesn't know where they walk

That's a bad situation, what say?
I don't know if I should stay.

I can go to any other place
But what if I get the same disgrace

I can't keep switching day by day
I don't know if I should stay.

The -ves are more, the +ves are less
Then why have this unnecessary mess

No more will I walk their way,
It's all done, I won't stay.

Thanks & Regards,
Employee

Manager Response
-----------------------
The decision is good or decision is bad
Only God knows still I am glad

Keep moving in life that is what I can say

If you feel right go in the same way
May god give you the work, the challenge you want

Anyway there is always a second chance
Chances are there, grab them snatch them

That is what I can say

Keep on jumping companies to get more and more and more....
That will keep you always a fore (Even to me)

From my experience I can tell you
Being in software development is like taking hell out of you

You are frustrated since you have no quality work
And you were frustrated because you had quantity work

It's always like that previous job was better than the current one
And expects the new job will be much better than this one

But what you get is a frustration level up to sun
Than you will again send the resignation like this one

This is all what I want to say

Have you completed all the formalities?
Filled the form and got it signed from department humanities (HR)

Once done you can take all your cash
But don't refer others as they will follow you're a*s.

At last I appreciate your contribution to the company
Even though there was not any.....

You will keep a copy of this with you for FYI
Don't feel shy

As I also got it some time back from my old manger say Hi....
That is all what I want to say.

Thanks & Regards,
Manager

Learn to Pay Attention!!!

2009-07-28T03:27:00.000-07:00

First-year students at Veterinary school were attending their first Anatomy class, with a real dead pig.

They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a White sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, 'In Veterinary Medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a Doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the Animal body'. For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, touched his finger in the mouth of the dead pig, withdrew it and put his Finger in his mouth. 'Go ahead and do the same thing,' he told his students.

The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes. But eventually took turns putting their finger in the mouth of the dead pig and tasted in their mouth.

When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said, 'The Second most important quality is observation. I touched with my middle Finger and tasted on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention....

Very Official Love Letter

2009-07-28T03:20:00.000-07:00

To

Juliet
Grade 7.0 S.M

Sub: Offer of love!

Dearest Ms Juliet,

I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 14th of October (Saturday).

With reference to the meeting held between us on the 13th of Oct. At 1500 hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.

Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent.

Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse.

The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses.

However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.

I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else.

I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.

Wish you all the best!

Thanking you in anticipation,

Yours sincerely,
Romeo (HR Manager)

*********

Nepali And American!!!

2009-07-14T05:27:00.000-07:00

An Nepali and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would like to play a fun-game.
The Nepali, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.
He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice versa." Again, the Nepali declines and tries to get some sleep.

The American, now worked up, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5,and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $500." This gets the Nepali 's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.

The American asks the first question, "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The Nepali doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet, pulls out a $5 bill and hands it to the American.

"Okay," says the American, "Your turn."
So the Nepali asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

The American thinks about it. No answer.

Puzzled, he takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. No answer!
He taps into the air-phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress. No answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and co-workers. Checks the input. All to no avail!

Finally, a long time later, he wakes the Nepali and hands him $500.
The Nepali thanks him and turns back to get his sleep.

The American, more than a little miffed, stirs the Nepali and asks,"Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, the Nepali reaches into his purse, hands the American $5, and goes back to sleep!

New Exam Pattern Based on IPL Rules

2009-06-19T01:15:00.000-07:00

1. Reduce exam duration to 1 hr and marks to 50.

2. Introduce strategic break after 30 minutes.

3. Give free hit, that is a chance for students to frame their own questions and write answers.

4. 1st 15 minutes power play, that is no invigilator in the exam hall. ( everyone will love this....!!!)

5. Introduce fair play awards.

6. If any wrong question is asked you can give your own answer for the next question
……………….
(FREE HIT……………….. !!!!!!!!!)

7.Cheer girls to cheer for every correct answer written....!!!

Power of Prayers!!!

2009-06-14T03:52:00.000-07:00

A father put his three-year-old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying 'God bless Mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma and good-bye grandpa.'

The father asked, 'Why did you say good-bye grandpa?'
The little girl said, 'I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do.'

The next day grandpa died.

The father thought it was a strange coincidence. A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers, which went like this: 'God bless Mommy, God Bless daddy and good-bye grandma.'
The next day the grandmother died.
Oh my God, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side.
Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say, 'God bless Mommy and good-bye daddy.'

He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound.

Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home. When he got home his wife said, 'HONEY, I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?' He said, 'I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life.'

She said 'You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning our neighbor James dropped dead on our Porch.'

(Provided By: Santosh Shrestha, Software Engineer, SSN)

A Sirdar and George Bush

2009-06-09T06:36:00.000-07:00

A Sardar ji went to US & had a meeting with George Bush.

Bush: I want to show you the US advancement. Come with me. (He takes him in a deep forest)

Bush: Dig the ground. (Sardarji did it.)

Bush: more..more..more... (Sardarji went up to 100 feet)

Bush: So now, try to search something.

Sardarji: I got a wire.

Bush: you know, it shows that even 100 years ago we used to have telephones. (Sardarji became frustrated.)

He invited Bush to India. Next year Bush had been in India

Sardarji: I want to show you our advancement. (The same, he takes Bush in forest.)

Sardar: dig it. (Bush does.)

Sardar: more...More..More.......... (Bush goes upto almost 400 feet...)

Sardarji: try to find something. (Bush tries.)

Sardarji: did you get anything?

Bush: no.

Sardarji: yes, even 400 years ago we used to have wireless Technology.

This is Real Africa

2009-06-03T21:20:00.000-07:00

(Provided By: Basu Dahal)

WHY (Can anyone give the answers?)

2009-05-24T04:44:00.000-07:00

1. Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

2. Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?

3. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

4. Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

5. Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

6. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

7. Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

8. Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

9. Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lips"?

10. If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

11. Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

12. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

13. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

14. Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

15 Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

16. How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

17. When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

18. Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

19. In Winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in Summer, when we complained about the heat in Summer?

20. How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

Types of Love

2009-05-22T01:29:00.002-07:00

You Understood More Than Enough, Am I Right? :)

Man N Woman

2009-04-29T21:56:00.000-07:00

The man discovered COLORS and invented PAINT;

the woman discovered PAINT and invented MAKEUP.

The man discovered the WORD and invented CONVERSATION;

the woman discovered CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP.

The man discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOOD;

The woman discovered FOOD and invented DIET.

The man discovered FRIENDSHIP and invented LOVE;

The woman discovered LOVE and invented LOVE TRIANGLES.

The man discovered TRADING and invented MONEY;

the woman discovered MONEY and invented SHOPPING.

Thereafter man has discovered and invented a lot of things…

but the women are still BUSY in shopping……………

(Provided By: Santosh Shrestha, Software Engineer)

Do U Know C++ Programming

2009-03-30T02:34:00.000-07:00

#include STD_ISD_PCO.h
#include mobile.h
#include sms.h
#include love.h
#define Cute beautiful_lady

void main(void)
{
goto college;
scanf("100%" ,&ladies);

if(lady ==Cute)
line++;
while( !reply )
{
printf("I Love U");
scanf("100%" ,&reply);
}

if(reply == "GAALI")
main(); /* go back and repeat the process */

else if(reply == "SANDAL ")
exit(1);

else if(reply == "I Love U")
{
lover =Cute ;
love = (heart*)malloc( sizeof(lover) ); /*Dynamic Memory Allocation*/
}
goto restaurant;

restaurant:
{
food++;
smile++;
pay->money = lover->money;
return(college) ;
}

if(time==2.30)
goto cinema;

cinema:
{
watch++;
if(intermission)
{
coke++;
Popecorn++;
}
}
}

Ultimate Misunderstanding....

2009-03-26T01:51:00.000-07:00

Mr. Sharma comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck:

"I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby!

The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."

The next day, Mrs. Sharma receives a telephone call from Reliance Company because the electricity bill has not been paid.

" Am I speaking to Mrs. Sharma? "

"Yes... speaking"

Reliance guy, "You're a month overdue, you know!"

"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.

"Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the Reliance guy.

"What are you saying? It's in your files ...HOW?????"

" Yes ............ . We have a system of finding out who's overdue "

" GOD!!!!!!... ...... This is too much........ .."

"Madam, I am sorry... I am following orders.... I have to inform you are overdue"

"I know that ... let me talk to my husband about this tonight. .... He will speak to your company tomorrow "

That night, she tells her husband about the incident, and he, mad as a bull, rushes to Reliance office the next day morning.

"What's going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue?

What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts.

"Just calm down," says the lady at the reception at Reliance, "it's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us."

"PAY you? And if I refuse?"

"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off."

"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks.

"I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle."

Wife was Cheating!!!

2009-03-22T23:29:00.000-07:00

A guy thought his wife was cheating on him. So he waited for her to leave that night and jumped in a cab to follow her. By following her he found out she was working in a whorehouse.

The guy says to the cabbie, "Wanna make a $100?" The cabbie says, "Sure, what do I have to do?".

The guy replied that all the cabbie has to do was go inside the whorehouse and grab his wife and put her in the back of the cab and take them home. So the cabbie goes in.

A couple of minutes later the whore house gets kicked open, and the cabbie is dragging this women out who is kicking, biting, punching, and fighting all the way to the cab. The cabbie opens the door to the cab, throws the girl inside, and tells the man, "Here hold her!!"

The man looks down at the girl and says to the cabbie, "THIS AIN'T MY WIFE".

The cabbie replied, "I KNOW, IT'S MINE; I'M GOING BACK IN FOR YOURS!!".

Words Women Use

2009-03-08T06:14:00.000-07:00

Fine

This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

***********

Five Minutes

If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour.

Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

***********

Nothing

This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine".

***********

Go Ahead

This is a dare, not permission, DON'T DO IT!

***********

Loud Sigh

Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

***********

That's Okay

This is one of the most dangerous statements that woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

***********

Thanks

This is the least used of all words in the female vocabulary. If a woman is thanking you. Do not question it, just say you're welcome and back out of the room slowly.

***********

Are You Going to get Married???

2009-03-06T03:21:00.000-08:00

#CASE 1

Getting married is like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

#CASE 2

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger??" The other replied, "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

#CASE 3

Before a man is married, he is incomplete. Then when he is married, he is finished.

#CASE 4

Marriage is an institution in which a man losses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's status.

#CASE 5

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married??" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying for it."

#CASE 6

Young son : "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad : "That happens in most countries son."

#CASE 7

Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and then it was too late."

#CASE 8

A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes

#CASE 9

When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why. Affair ?

#CASE 10

In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

#CASE 11

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the Husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."

#CASE 12

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified : "Wife wanted". The next day, he received hundreds letters. They all said the same thing "You can have mine."

#CASE 13

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing : either the car is new or his wife is new.

#CASE 14

A woman was telling her friend : "It is I who made my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him?" the friend asked. The woman replied, "A Billionaire." :)

Why the Call Center Guys are Paid so Much

2009-03-02T19:02:00.000-08:00

1) Tech Support : "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer : "Ok."
Tech Support : "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer : "Sure, you told me to write 'click'
and I wrote 'click'."

------------ --------- --------- ----------

2) Customer : "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."
Tech : "Did you install the update?"
Customer : "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

3)Customer : "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech : "Tell me what you've done."
Customer : "I typed 'A: SETUP'."
Tech : "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer : "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech : "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer : "What?"
Tech : "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer : "No..."

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

4) Customer : "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

5) Tech : "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, canyou see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer : "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
Tech : ##### ***

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

6) Tech : "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer : "A white one."
Tech : ******_____# ###

------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------

7) Tech : "What operating system are you running?"
Customer : "Pentium."
Tech : ////-----+++

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

8). Customer : "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."
Tech : ??????

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

9).Cus tomer : "I have Microsoft Exploder."
Tech : ?!%#$

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

10).Customer : "How do I print my voicemail?"
Tech : ??????

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

11). Customer : "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech : "What does it say?"
Customer : "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech : "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer : "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
Tech : @@@@@

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

12). Tech : "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're
open 24 hours."
Customer : "Is that Eastern time?"

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

13). Tech : "What does the screen say now?"
Customer : "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech : "Well?"
Customer : "How do I know when it's ready?"
Tech : *** ---- ++++

------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------

The best of the lot
14) A plain computer illiterate guy rings Tech Support to report that his computer is faulty.
Tech : What's the problem?
User : There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech : (keep quite)
Tech : You'll need a new power supply.
User : No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech : Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.
User : No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.
Tech : 10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.
Tech : (hush hush)
Tech : Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.
User : I knew it!
Tech : Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS . Let me know how it goes.

(10 minutes later)
User : It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech : Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User : MS-DOS 6.22.
Tech : That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes.

(1 hour later)
User : I need a new power supply.
Tech : How did you come to that conclusion?
Tech : (hush hush)
User : Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply.
Tech : Then what did he say?
User : He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Heights Of all (Too Good)

15) Customer care officer : I need a product identification number right now and may I help u in finding it out?
Cust : sure
CCO : could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?
Cust : I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?

(Provided By: Surendra Narayan Yadav)

Love Vs Marriage

2009-03-01T02:01:00.000-08:00

Love is holding hands in the street.
Marriage is holding arguments in the street.

Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant.
Marriage is a take home packet.

Love is cuddling on a sofa.
Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.

Love is talking about having children.
Marriage is talking about getting away from children.

Love is going to bed early.
Marriage is going to sleep early.

Love is a romantic drive.
Marriage is arrive on tops curvy tarmac .

Love is losing your appetite.
Marriage is losing your figure.

Love is sweet nothing in the ear.
Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank.

Tv has no place in love.
Marriage is a fight for remote control.

Love is 1 drink and 2 straws.
Marriage is "Don't you think you've had enough!".

Conclusion: "Love is blind, Marriage is an eye opener!"

Women as Explained By Engineers

2009-02-17T22:05:00.000-08:00

(Provided By: Navaraj Bogatee, Software Engineer)

Witty Answers

2009-02-09T19:25:00.000-08:00

Customer : Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter : Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.

Customer : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter : That's all right sir, he won't drink much.

Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?

Customer : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up?
Waiter : I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.

Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter : Funny? But then why aren't you laughing?

Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take
This train to New Delhi.
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.

Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and
The game went into extra time.

Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.

A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a
Commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order."
The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have
A scotch and soda."

Customer : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in Two days time?
Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will.
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to Mumbai.

An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.'
'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.
'How long has what been going on?' said the man.

Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born.

Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the Field"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.

(Provided By: Mahesh Sharma)

Japanese are so far ahead of us!!!

2009-01-29T23:43:00.000-08:00

10 Commandments of Marriage

2009-01-28T00:22:00.000-08:00

Commandment 1

Marriages are made in heaven. But so are thunder and lightning.

***********

Commandment 2

If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say; talk in your sleep.

***********

Commandment 3

Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!

***********

Commandment 4

Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.

In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.

In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.

***********

Commandment 5

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

***********

Commandment 6

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

***********

Commandment 7

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

***********

Commandment 8

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook.

But the law allows only one wife.

***********

Commandment 9

Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why wives treat husbands like toxic waste.

***********

Commandment 10

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

***********

Bonus Commandment ( Story )

A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.

The wife decided to make a wish too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.

The husband was stunned for a moment but then smiled,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

"It really works!"

The Ultimate FACTS!!!

2009-01-27T23:58:00.000-08:00

Men:

************

1. All men are extremely busy.

************

2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.

************

3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.

************

4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one around.

************

5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others.

************

6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off if the woman leaves them.

************

7. Although the woman leaves them they still don't learn from their mistakes and still try their luck with others.

************

Women:

************

1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.

************

2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff.

************

3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear.

************

4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.

************

5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just "an old rag".

************

6. Although their clothes are always "just an old rag", they still expect you to compliment them.

************

7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't believe you.

***********

It's a Girl's World.............

2009-01-20T03:36:00.000-08:00

If he is late for class, he told,"Time and Tide wait for none".
If she is late, then the bus was late.

If a girl is dressed as a boy, she is modern, says the world.
But if a boy is dressed as a girl, " Has he escaped from the Zoo?"

If a boy talks with a girl, "I think he is trying for her"
But if a girl talks with a boy, then she is trying to be friendly.

When a girl cries, the world is convinced of her
But when a boy cries, "Come on man! Don't be a girl".

If a girl meets with an accident, then it's the mistake of others.
And if a boy meets with an accident, "I think you should learn to drive".

If a boy sits in front of a city bus, he is mannerless and cultureless brute.
But if a girl sits in the back seat, "Try to respect ladies, man!".

If a boy gets a big rank in an entrance exam, "You've to work hard".
But if a girl gets a big rank,... Still got 33! Reservation.

If there are girls in a class, the professor gives an interesting lecture,
And if there are no girls, he says,there is no class today.

If a girl does not answer during a viva, then at least 'smile' says the examiner.
But when a boy does not answer," better luck next time".

How to ask your Boss for a salary increase?

2009-01-19T23:00:00.000-08:00

One day an employee sends a letter to her boss asking for an increase in her salary!!!

Dear Bo$$
In thi$ life, we all need$ ome thing mo$ t de$ perately. I think you$hould be under $ tanding of the need $ of u $ worker $ who have given$o much $ upport including $ weat and$ ervice to your company.
I am$ure you will gue $$ what I mean and re $ pond $oon.

Your$ $incerely,
Je$$y

The next day, the employee received this letter of reply :

Dear Jessy
I kNO w you have been working very hard.NO wadays,NOthing much has changed.
You must have NOticed that our company isNO t doingNOticeably well as yet .
NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading eco NOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into a NO ther recession. After theNOvember presidential elections things may turn bad .
I have NOthing more to add NO w. You kNOw what I mean.

ANOnymous

20 great one liners!!!

2009-01-04T00:17:00.000-08:00

1. Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving.

2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.

3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

4. They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried- but they wanted cash.

5. A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.

6. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

7. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without... but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

8. You can't buy love. . But you pay heavily for it.

9. True friends stab you in the front.

10. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.

11. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

12. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

13. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

14. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

15. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

16. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

17. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.

18. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

19. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.

20. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.

SMART SIRDAR!!!

2008-12-30T00:20:00.000-08:00

A Sardarji is in a Quiz Contest trying to win prize money of Rs.1 crore.
The questions are as follows:
1) How long was the 100 yr war?
A) 116
B) 99
C) 100
D) 150
Sardar says "I will skip this".

2) In which country are the Panama hats made?
A) BRASIL
B) CHILE
C) PANAMA
D) EQUADOR
Sardar asks for help from the University students.

3) In which month do the Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
A) JANUARY
B) SEPTEMBER
C) OCTOBER
D) NOVEMBER
Sardar asks for help from general public .

4) Which of these was King George VI first name?
A) EDER
B) ALBERT
C) GEORGE
D) MANOEL
Sardar asks for lucky cards.

5)The Canary Islands, in the Pacific Ocean, has its name based on which animal:
A) CANARY BIRD
B) KANGAROO
C) PUPPY
D) RAT
Sardar gives up.

If u think you are indeed clever and laughed at Sardar's replies,
Then please check the answers below:

*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*

1) The 100 year war lasted 116 years from 1337-1453

2) The Panama hat is made in Equador

3) The October revolution is celebrated in November

4) King George's first name was Albert. In 1936 he
changed his name.

5) Puppy. The Latin name is INSULARIA CANARIA which
means islands of the puppies.

(Provided By: Santosh Shrestha, Software Engineer, SSN)

Intelligent Thinking!!!

2008-12-10T04:07:00.000-08:00

A jobless man applied for the position of "office boy" at Microsoft.

The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.

"You are employed." He said." Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start."

The man replied "But I don't have a computer, neither an email."

I'm sorry", said the HR manager, "If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job."

The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate. He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital.

He repeated the Operation three times, and returned home with $60.

The man realized that he can survive by this Way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late Thus, his money doubled or tripled every day. Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.

5 years later , the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US .

He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance.

He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan. When the conversation was concluded, the broker asked him his email. The man replied, "I don't have an email". The broker answered curiously, "You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an email?!!"

The man thought for a while and replied, "Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!"

Unsatisfied!!!

2008-12-09T04:24:00.000-08:00

After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no commendation and that the Company is not doing any thing about it. So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told his HR Manager his observation. The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying;

Myfriend, you have not worked here for even one day.
The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.

Manager:- How many days are there in a year?
Man:- 365 days and some times 366

Manager:- how many hours make up a day?
Man:- 24 hours

Manager:- How long do you work in a day?
Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day.
Manager:- So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3(one third)

Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?
Man:- 122 (1/3x366 = 122 in days)

Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends?
Man:- No sir

Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days

Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have?
Man:- 18 days.

Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?
Man:- 4 days

Manager:- Do you work on New Year day?
Man:- No sir!

Manager:- Do you come to work on workers day?
Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 2 days sir!

Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday )?
Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 1 day sir!

Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day?
Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- None sir!

Manager:- So, what are you claiming?
Man:- I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that
I was stealing Company money all these days.

Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!

HR=HIGH RISK

(Provided By: Ananta Sharma, Software Engineer, D2Hawkeye Services Pvt. Ltd.)

Can you read this?

2008-12-03T03:12:00.000-08:00

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr i n waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny ipr oamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghi t pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

(Note : if you can read this, you are brilliant!!!)

Male or Female?

2008-11-26T19:41:00.000-08:00

You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are
actually either male or female. Here are some examples:

FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but
you can see right through them.

PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off;
it takes a while to warm them up again.They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.

TIRES: Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated

HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go
anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.

SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and
retain water.

WEB PAGES:Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.

TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines
for picking up people.

EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the
weight shifts to the bottom.

HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly
changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.

THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying

Internet Reality!!!

2008-11-24T22:14:00.000-08:00

Marriage Process

2008-11-23T22:04:00.000-08:00

Dating process:
6 weeks : I love U, I love U, I love U.
6 months : Of course I love U.
6 years : GOD, if I didn't love U, then why the hell did I propose?

Back from Work:
6 weeks : Honey, I'm home.
6 months : BACK!!
6 years : What did your mom cook for us today??

Gifts:
6 weeks : Honey, I really hope you liked the ring.
6 months : I bought you a painting; it would fit the motif in the living room.
6 years : Here's the money. Buy yourself something.

Phone Ringing:
6 weeks : Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.
6 months : Here, for you.
6 years : PHONE RINGING.

Cooking:
6 weeks : I never knew food could taste so good!
6 months : What are we having for dinner tonight?
6 years : AGAIN!!!!

Apology:
6 weeks : Honey muffin, don't you worry, Ill never hold this against you.
6 months : Watch out! Don't do it again.
6 years : What's not to understand about what I just said??

New Dress:
6 weeks : Oh my God, you look like an angel in that dress.
6 months : You bought a new dress again???
6 years : How much did THAT cost me?

Planning for Vacations:
6 weeks : How do 2 weeks in Vienna or anywhere you please sound??
6 months : What's so bad about going to Istanbul on a charter plane?
6 years : Travel? What's so bad about staying home???

TV:
6 weeks : Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?
6 months : I like this movie.
6 years : I'm going to watch ESPN, if you're not in the mood, go to bed, I can stay up by myself.

Obama's Family Moving to Washington

2008-11-18T20:30:00.000-08:00

(Provided By: Nawaraj Pokharel)

Priceless Words

2008-11-04T03:34:00.000-08:00

A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover.

He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.

He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. "Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping. Love You!"

Totally shocked with the note , he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.

His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, "Son, what happened last night?"

His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious.

Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door". Confused, the man asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!"

His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said, "LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M MARRIED!"

Poor Husband!!!

2008-10-19T23:23:00.000-07:00

Wife: Where is the money????

Wife: Show me your Pockets

Husband : I will not not give you the money!!! You always spend all of my salary! Booohoooo!!!

Wife: Ahhh ... there it is.

Wife: Okay now move a side. I'm going shopping.

Wife: Thanks, Sweetheart! Bye! :)

20 Rules in any Office!!!

2008-10-15T22:57:00.000-07:00

1. Rule 1. - The Boss is always right.

2. Rule 2. - If the Boss is wrong, see rule 1.

3. Those who work get more work. Others get pay, perks, and promotions.

4. Ph.D. stands for "Pull Him Down". The more intelligent a person, the more hardworking a person, the more committed a person; the more number of persons are engaged in pulling that person down.

5. If you are good, you will get all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.

6.. When the Bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

7. It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you are going to do.

8. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

9. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

10. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.

11. If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it..

12. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

13.. Following the rules will not get the job done.

14. If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

15. Everything can be filed under "Miscellaneous" .

16. No matter how much you do, you never do enough.

17. You can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work you are supposed to be doing.

18. In order to get a promotion, you need not necessarily know your job.

19. In order to get a promotion, you only need to pretend that you know your job.

20. The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.

If you love someone

2008-10-13T21:09:00.000-07:00

THE ORIGINAL QUOTE
If you love someone,
Set her free...
If she comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, she never was.....

THE NEW VERSIONS ARE.....

Pessimist:
If you love someone,
Set her free ...
If she ever comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, as expected, she never was

Optimist:
If you love someone,
Set her free ...
Don't worry, she will come back.

Suspicious:
If you love someone,
Set her free ...
If she ever comes back, ask her why.

Impatient:
If you love someone,
Set her free ...
If she doesn't come back within some time forget her.

Patient:
If you love someone, Set her free ...
If she doesn't come back,
continue to wait until she comes back ...

Playful:
If you love someone,
Set her free ...
If she comes back, and if you love her still,
set her free again, repeat ....

C++ Programmer:
if(you-love( m_she))
m_she.free()
if(m_she == NULL)
m_she = new CShe;

Animal-Rights Activist:
If you love someone,
Set her free,
In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!!

Lawyers:
If you love someone,
Set her free,
Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the Second
Amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom

Biologist :
If you love someone,
Set her free,
She'll evolve.

Statisticians :
If you love someone,
Set her free,
If she loves you, the probability of her coming
back is high
If she doesn't, your relation was improbable
anyway.

Schwarzenegger' s fans:
If you love someone,
Set her free,
SHE'LL BE BACK!

Over possessive person:
If you love someone
don't set her free.

MBA :
If you love someone set her free instantaneously
and look for others simultaneously

Psychologist :
If you love someone
set her free
If she comes back her super ego is dominant
If she doesn't come back her id is supreme
If she doesn't go, she must be crazy.

Somnabulist :
If you love someone
set her free
If she comes back it's a nightmare
If she doesn't, you must be dreaming.

ERP functional expert :
If you love someone
set her free
If she comes back, map her into your system
If she doesn't, carry out a gap-fit analysis

Finance expert :
If you love someone
set her free
If she comes back, its time to look for fresh loans
If she doesn't, write her off as an asset gone bad.

Marketing Specialist :
If you love someone
set her free
If she comes back she has brand loyalty
If she doesn't, reposition the brand in new market

Bride from 21st Century!!!

2008-10-02T03:48:00.000-07:00

A newly wed girl was being welcomed at the husband's home in a traditional manner.

She was asked to give a little speech. She addressed as follows:

"My dear family members, I thank you for welcoming me in my new home and family",

she said "Firstly, with my presence I would not want to create any inconveniences by my being here. I mean that I don't want you all to change your way of life, your routine."

"What do you mean my child?" asked the patriarch of the family.

What I mean that is:

Those who used to wash dishes must carry on washing them.
Those who used to do the laundry must carry on doing it.
Those who cooked shouldn't stop on my account.
Those who used to clean should clean.

As for me, I am here just to control your son!

Geography of Women!!!

2008-09-25T04:07:00.000-07:00

Between the ages of 15 - 20 a woman is like Africa.
She is half discovered, half wild.

Between the ages of 20 - 30 a woman is like America.
Fully discovered and scientifically perfect.

Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like Japan.
Very hot, wise and beautiful !!!!!!!!!

Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France.
She is half destroyed after the war but still desirable.

Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Germany.
She lost the war but not the hope.

Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia.
Very wide, very quiet but nobody goes there.

Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like England.
With a glorious past but no future.

After 70, they become Siberia.
Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.

New Office Policies

2008-09-16T23:47:00.000-07:00

EFFECTIVE JANUARY 1, 2009 NEW OFFICE POLICY
Dress Code:
1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.
2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work .

Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin boa rd under the 'Chronic Offenders'category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break: (Love this one)
* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

Note: Due to budget cuts, your cubicle will be

-The Management

Sixth Sense!!!

2008-09-16T23:26:00.000-07:00

A father put his three-year-old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying "God bless Mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma and good-bye grandpa."

The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?"
The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do."

The next day grandpa died.

The father thought it was a strange coincidence. A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers, which went like this: "God bless Mommy, God Bless daddy and good-bye grandma."
The next day the grandmother died.
Oh my God, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side.
Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say, "God bless Mommy and good-bye daddy."

He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound.

Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home. When he got home his wife said, "HONEY, I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?" He said, "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life."

She said "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning our neighbor James dropped dead on our Porch."

(Provided By: Min Chaudhary, Computer Programmer)

The scholarly gentleman and The Boatman

2008-09-15T03:27:00.000-07:00

One day, a very scholarly gentleman, while traveling in Nepal, decided to go across big river, so he asked one of the village people who owned a small boat, if he would take him, to this request the boatman agreed.

As they started, the sun became obscured by dark clouds, and as the river was large, the gentleman realized that the crossing would take some time. So he started a conversation with the boatman.

"Did you know that the sun is approximately 93,000,000miles away, and yet it has provided heat and light, throughout the universe since time immemorial, baring that, if it was to shift, even a fraction of an inch out of its orbit, there would be total devastation?"

The boatman replied; "My dear sir, I am just a simple man who has had no education, there is no way I could know such information"

"Then" said the gentleman "You are 25% fool".

Some time passed, and as they were coming to the ½ way mark, the thunder began to rumble.

"Did you know notice the lightening, just before the rumbling sound". The gentleman asked. He continued. "Do you know how that phenomenon occurs"

"No sir" replied the boatman.

"Its occurrence is due to the expansion of rapidly heated air," the gentleman exclaimed, " You are 50% fool.

About ¾ of the way the weather completely changed. It became dark and started to rain heavily and started filling up the little boat with water clearly making it difficult for the boatman. But the foolish gentleman insisted in questioning.

"Do you know how we get rain",

"No sir," was the reply."

" The sun evaporates water from the sea, this gets stored in the clouds which then travel by be wind power, then when they become full, it lets all the water go, over the land. That's how we get rain."

"You are 75% fool." Said the gentleman, now feeling very smug.

The gentleman was suddenly interrupted from his basqueing by a loud cry from the boatman,

"Oh no! I have lost my oar and now the water is about capsize the boat, we have no alternative but to swim the remainder of the way, luckily for us it is not very far."

"But I can't swim," cried the gentleman now seeing his own imminent death.

"Then my dear sir, you are 100% fool" said the boatman.

Two Beggars

2008-09-05T03:43:00.000-07:00

There were two beggars sitting under the bridge for many years. There was no change in their fortune. Once God went to them and gave them three eggs each. God told both of them that they have to express their each wish and then drop the egg to the floor and the wish will be true.

Both were happy. First one used all the eggs and got wealth, health and wife and started living very happily.

Once he was passing the same bridge and to his surprise he saw his old friend second beggar still begging under the bridge. First beggar was surprised he stooped his car and went up to him.

Rich Beggar: Dear what is this. You are not changed at all. Did you not use those three eggs?

Poor Beggar: Yes dear. I used all the three eggs but still I am as it is.

Rich Beggar: How come? I used all of them and see toady I am rich, healthy and family man.

Poor Beggar: What to tell you? You know I was fond of sex and sex only. I dropped the egg and wished Maximum possible ˜Instruments to me. My wish was through and my entire body had many instruments, where ever possible on my body.

Rich Beggar: My God. Then?

The Poor Beggar: It was horrible experience. I was looking like animal hanging instruments to all my body.

So I immediately dropped the second egg and wished God. Take away these instruments from my body.

The wish was through and all the instruments hanging to my body vanished. But with this I had a grave problem. I lost my original instrument also due to this wish.

Rich Beggar: O, God. It must be unfortunate and horrible. Then what you did?

Poor beggar: had no option but to drop the third egg and wish Get me back my original instrument and that is how I lost all the three eggs. Naturally. I am on the same begging spot

Poor Beggar: My sad story does not end hear. Since I asked for my original instrument I got it back as of when I was born. It is of no use dear. I have lost everything.

The SIRDAR is BAACK!!!

2008-08-20T21:22:00.000-07:00

Interviewer:what is your birth date?
Sardar: 13th October
Which year?
Sardar: Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR

Manager asked to sardar at an interview.
Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Sardar replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X.

After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife,
Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife: No! Why?
Sardar: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?

One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this
village???
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!

Lecturer: write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi
So Sardar writes, 'Gandi was a great man, but I don't know who is
Jayanthi.

When sardar was traveling with his wife in an auto, the driver
adjusted mirror. Sardar shouted, 'You are trying to see my
wife? Sit back. I will drive.

Interviewer: just imagine your in 3rd floor, it caught fire and how will you escape?
Sardar: its simple. I will stop my imagination!!!
(Provided By: Rashmi Shrestha, Software Engineer)

Olympice would become more interesting if................

2008-08-13T23:30:00.000-07:00

Software Engineer and His Wife

2008-08-05T22:58:00.000-07:00

Husband - hey dear, I am logged in.

Wife - would you like to have some snacks?
Husband - hard disk full.

Wife - have you brought the saree.
Husband - Bad command or file name.

Wife - but I told you about it in morning
Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.

Wife - hae bhagwan !forget it where's your salary.
Husband - file in use, read only, try after some time.

Wife - at least give me your credit card, I can do some shopping.
Husband - sharing violation, access denied.

Wife - I made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband - data type mismatch.

Wife - you are useless.
Husband - by default.

Wife - who was there with you in the car this morning?
Husband - system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to Reboot.

Wife - what is the relation between you & your Receptionist?
Husband - the only user with write permission.

Wife - what is my value in your life?
Husband - unknown virus detected.

Wife - do you love me or your computer?
Husband - Too many parameters.

Wife - I will go to my dad's house.
Husband - program performed illegal operation, it will Close.

Wife - I will leave you forever.
Husband - close all programs and log out for another User.

Wife - it is worthless talking to you.
Husband - shut down the computer.

Wife - I am going
Husband - Its now safe to turn off your computer

:)

Love N Maths

2008-08-04T23:14:00.000-07:00

My Dear SweetHeart,

Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in trigonometric lane.

There I saw you with our cute circular face,conical nose and spherical eyes,standing in your triangular garden.

Before seeing you my heart was a null set, but when a vector of magnitude (likeness) from your eyes at a deviation of theta radians made a tangent to my heart, it differentiated.

My love for you is a quadratic equation with real roots, which only you can solve by making good binary relation with me.

The cosine of my love for you extends to infinity.

I promise that I should not resolve you into partial functions but if I do so, you can integrate me by applying the limits from zero to infinity.

You are as essential to me as an element to a set.

The geometry of my life revolves around your acute personality.

My love, if you do not meet me at parabola restaurant on date 10 at sunset, when the sun is making an angle of 160 degrees, my heart would be like a solved polynomial of degree 10.

With love from your higher order derivatives of maxima and minima, of an unknown function.

Funny Conversation

2008-07-28T02:01:00.000-07:00

Hu Jintao was named chief of the Communist Party in China.
SCENE: The Oval Office. George Bush and Condolezza Rice.
George: Condi! Nice to see you。 What''s happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Let's hear it.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I''m asking you。 Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu。
George: The Chinese?
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya?asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well,I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That''s the man's name.
George: That's whose name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes sir.
George: Yassir? You mean arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China.
Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone. I bet he knows.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. and then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: Call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N .?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: and stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N!
Condi: Kofi?
George: all right! Light with sugar. Now get on the phone.

(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice here.
George: Rice? Good idea. and a couple of egg rolls, too.

Corporate Lesson

2008-07-22T23:30:00.000-07:00

पुरस्कृत गजल

2008-07-21T04:30:00.000-07:00

दृढ बिस्वास पोखिएको साथ सगैं जानेछु।
अप्ठेरोमा समाउने हात सगैं जानेछु।।

शुन्य रातमा झस्काईदियो मधुर मुस्कानले।
मन पग्लने सुरिलो त्यो बात सगैं जानेछु।।

मुस्काऊने ओठहरु लजाउन थालेपछि।
प्रेमलाप कहिदिने मातसगैं जानेछु।।

मन्द मन्द पवनसगै लहरिदै यात्रा गर्दा।
चाहन्छौ भने प्रणयको जातसगैं जानेछु।।

जिजीबिषा सगैं राखि एउटै माला बनाउला।
सुन्दर जिवन कल्पिनमा रातसगैं जानेछु।।

-सौजन्य: सन्ध्या मरहट्ठा, सामाखुसी, काठमाडौँ

Truth : About 21st Century

2008-07-17T21:53:00.001-07:00

Our communication - Wireless

Our dress - Topless

Our Labour - Effordless

Our food - Fatless

Our youth - Jobless

Our cooking - Fireless

Our telephone - Cordless

Our education - Valueless

Our feelings - Heartless

Our attitude - Careless

Our relation- Loveless

Our conduct - Worthless

Our job - Thankless

Our boss - Brainless

Our arguments - Baseless

Our follies - Countless

Our salary - Very less

Bad Hearing...

2008-07-09T00:58:00.000-07:00

A old man told his doctor, "I don't think my wife's hearing is as good as it used to be. What should I do?"

The doctor replied, "Try this test first. When your wife is at the sink doing dishes, stand fifteen feet behind her and ask her a question. If she doesn't respond, keep moving closer, asking the question until she hears you."

He went home and saw his wife preparing dinner. Standing fifteen feet behind her he said, "What's for dinner, honey?" Hearing no reply, he moved up to ten feet behind her and repeated the question. Still no reply, so he moved to five feet. Finally he stood directly behind her and said, "Honey, what's for dinner tonight?"

She turned around and yelled in his face, "For the fourth time, I SAID CHICKEN, you deaf old fart!"

When woman lies...............

2008-07-06T22:44:00.000-07:00

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, 'My dear child, why are you crying?' The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family.

The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with sapphires.
'Is this your thimble?' the Lord asked.

The seamstress replied, 'No.'

The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a golden thimble studded with rubies.
'Is this your thimble?' the Lord asked. Again, the seamstress replied, 'No.'

The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble.
'Is this your thimble ?' the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, 'Yes.' The Lord was pleased w ith the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.

Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water. When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, 'Why are you crying?'

'Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!'

The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney.

'Is this your husband?' the Lord asked.
'Yes,' cried the seamstress.

The Lord was furious. 'You lied! That is an untruth!'

The seamstress replied, 'Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt.
Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said 'yes' to George Clooney.

And so the Lord let her keep him.

What will happen in comming days.....?!!

2008-07-02T23:03:00.000-07:00

Santa Laughs!!!

2008-07-02T22:39:00.000-07:00

Once Santa & Banta were traveling along with their friends Monty & Jaggi. On a road surrounded by forests on both sides, their car was attacked by robbers. Santa & his friends were pulled out of the car. The robbers blasted the car and took Santa, Banta and their friends in the middle of the forest where their boss was residing.

Now, this boss was fond of jokes. So, he put the condition that whoever tells a joke that makes every single person laugh should be left unharmed and alive, but if one single person doesn't laugh then the joke-teller would be shot to death.

Banta started telling the funniest joke he had ever heard, "One day........." and when he was finished, everybody were falling with laughter except Santa. So according to the vow, the boss shot poor Banta.

Now, it was the turn of Monty. He also told the best joke he had ever heard. Again everybody laughed including the boss & his robbers, but still Santa was quite as a statue. So the boss shot him.

Then came Jaggi. As he opened his mouth to tell the joke, Santa suddenly burst into laughter. Everyone was puzzled. Santa was laughing madly.

The boss asked him, "Why the hell are you laughing without hearing the joke?"

Santa said laughing and giggling, "Oh! How funny Banta's joke was!"

BASTARD!!!

2008-06-26T02:16:00.000-07:00

GIRL: I have sinned. I called my boyfriend a BASTARD.
PSYCHIATRIST: Well now, that's not a nice thing to call anyone, so what did he do to deserve that?
GIRL: Well, he kissed me.

PSYCHIATRIST:You mean like this?
( The psychiatrist kissed the girl )
GIRL: ......Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST:Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.
GIRL: But, he put his hand in my top.
PSYCHIATRIST:You mean like this?
( The psychiatrist put his hand in the girl's top )
GIRL: Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST:Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.
GIRL: But, he took my clothes off.
PSYCHIATRIST:You mean like this?
( The psychiatrist took off the girl's clothes )
GIRL: Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST:Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.
GIRL: But, he had sex with me!
PSYCHIATRIST:You mean like this?
( The psychiatrist had sex with the girl )
GIRL: .Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST:Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.
GIRL: But, then he told me he has AIDS.
PSYCHIATRIST: BASTARD!!!!!

Chicken Story!!!

2008-06-24T21:35:00.000-07:00

A farmer rears twenty-five young hens and one old cock. As he feels that the old cock could no longer handle his job efficiently, the farmer bought one young cock from the market.

Old cock to Young cock : "Welcome to join me, we will work together towards productivity.

Young cock : What you mean? As far as I know, you are old and should be retired.

Old cock : Young boy, there are twenty-five hens here, can't I help you with some?

Young cock : No! Not even one, all of them will be mine.

Old cock : In this case, I shall challenge you to a competition and if I win you shall allow me to have one hen and if I lose you will have all.

Young cock :O.K. What kind of competition?

Old cock: 50 meter run. From here to that tree. But due to my age, I hope you allow me to start off the first 10 meters.

Young cock : No problem ! We will compete tomorrow morning.

Confidently, the following morning, the Young cock allows the Old cock to start off and when the Old cock crosses the 10 meters mark the Young cock chases him with all his might.

Soon enough, he was behind the Old cock back in a matter of seconds.

Suddenly, Bang! ...... before he could overtake the old cock, he was shot dead by the farmer, who cursed, "Hell ! This is the fifth GAY chicken I've bought this week !"

Best thing about Engineer Boy Friend!!

2008-06-21T21:01:00.000-07:00

1: Secure lifestyle

An engineer boyfriend can provide you with a secure lifestyle. At 27 years
old, an engineer probably has a respectable, stable job that gives him
high income to own a car, invest, have a comfortable life, and get married
and buy a house too. Law graduates are still working as a lowly apprentice
in law firm, most management graduates have just failed on their first
business plan, the arts graduate is still looking for a job, and the
medical school graduate is still living in a hospital.

2: Unmatchable industriousness

An engineer boyfriend will dedicate an
unimaginable amount of his time and
effort to understand you. Engineers strain really really hard to
understand their work. You can believe that they will try really really
hard to understand women too, just like how they understand their work,
once they believe that you are the one. So even if they don't understand
you initially, they will keep on trying. Even if they still do not
understand, they will figure out the correct method to keep you happy
(e.g. buy diamond ring = 1 week's worth of happiness.) And once they find
out the secret formula, they will just keep on repeating it so that the
desired results appear. Unlike the Lawyer who will argue with you, the
Management graduate who will try to control your spending, the Arts
graduate who will 'change major', and the medical school graduate who will
operate on you. And you know what, it's really so easy to make engineers
believe that you are the 'one'. Say that you like one of their projects
and they will be hooked to you forever.-

3:An engineer boyfriend will never betray your trust.

Let me first tell you
what is wrong with the rest of the others - the lawyers will lie about
everything, management graduates will cheat your money, the arts
graduate will flirt, and you probably just look like another cadaver to
the medical school graduate. Your engineer boyfriend is either too busy to
have an affair, and even if he does, he is too dumb to lie to you about
that.
Hence, an engineer is the most secure boyfriend that you will ever find -
rich enough, will keep on trying to understand and please you, has no time
for affairs, and too dumb to lie to you.

Conclusion: Engineerz rule !

(Provided By: Santosh Shrestha, Software Engineer, Sunrise System Nepal Pvt. Ltd.)

Nepalese Hell

2008-06-13T03:00:00.000-07:00

A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He goes to the German hell and asks, "What do they do here?" He told, "First they put you in an electric chair for An hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then The German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

The man does not like the sound of that at all,so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.

Then he comes to the Nepalese hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?" He told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Nepalese devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day." "But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?"

"Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work,someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil is a former Govt servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the canteen!!!

The Laws of Ultimate

2008-06-12T05:23:00.000-07:00

Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

Law of Gravity
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire..

Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time)

Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theater
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

The Starbucks Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law of Physical Appearance
If the shoe fits, it's ugly…

Oliver's Law of Public Speaking
A closed mouth gathers no feet…

Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it…

Doctors' Law
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick…

Pass this to women!!!

2008-06-11T21:04:00.000-07:00

Q: What is the difference between men and puppies?

A: Puppies grow up.

Q: Why do men always have a stupid look on their faces?

A: Because they are...

Q: What do men have in common with ceramic tiles?

A: Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them forever.

Q: If you drop a man and a brick out of a plane, which one would hit
The ground first?

A: Who cares?????.....

Q: What did God say after he created man?

A: I can do better than this! And then he created woman!

Q: What's the difference between an intelligent man & a UFO?

A: I don't know, I've never seen either.

Q: What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?

A: i) no mind ii) no business

Q: What is the difference between men and pigs?

A: Pigs don't turn into men when they drink...

Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

A: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no
Intention of driving.

Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift?

A: Exchange him!!

Q: Why do men like smart women?

A: Opposites attract.

Microsoft's Crazy Facts

2008-06-10T21:17:00.000-07:00

MAGIC #1
Nobody can create a FOLDER anywhere on the computer which can be named as "CON".
This is something pretty cool...and unbelievable. ..
At Microsoft the whole Team, couldn't answer why this happened!
TRY IT NOW, IT WILL NOT CREATE "CON" FOLDER

MAGIC #2
This is something pretty cool and neat...and unbelievable. ..
At Microsoft the whole Team, including Bill Gates, couldn't answer why this happened!
Try it out yourself...
Open Microsoft Word and type
=rand (200, 99)
And then press ENTER

MAGIC #3
For those of you using Windows, do the following:
1. Open an empty notepad file
2. Type "Bush hid the facts" (without the quotes)
3. Save it as whatever you want.
4. Close it, and re-open it.
Is it just a really weird bug?
You can try the same thing above with another sentence "this app can break"

If oil price still increase...............

2008-06-08T22:37:00.000-07:00

The Koala and the lizard

2008-06-08T00:18:00.000-07:00

A koala was sitting in a gum tree ...
Smoking a joint
When a little lizard walked past, looked up
and said,
'Hey Koala! What are you doing?'
The koala said, 'Smoking a joint, come up and have some.'

So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala where they enjoyed a few joints.

After a while the little lizard said that i mouth was 'dry'
And that he was going to get a drink from the river.
The little lizard was so stoned that he leaned too far over and fell into the river.

A crocodile saw this and swam over to the little lizard and
Helped him to the side. Then he asked the little lizard,
'What's the matter with you?'
The little lizard explained to the crocodile that
he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree,
Got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.
The crocodile said that he had to check this out and walked into the rain forest,
found the tree where the koala was sitting finishing a joint.
The crocodile looked up and said,'Hey you!'

So the koala looked down at him and said,

'Shiiiiiiiiiiit dude...
How much water did you drink?'

Just for Laughs

2008-06-04T21:23:00.000-07:00

Two men met while both where looking for their lost wives.

1st: How yours look like?

2nd: She is 5"7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. What about yours?

1st: Forget mine.

Lets find yours!!

**********

Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.

He shoots his friend to death.

Wife says, "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends".

**********

What is the definition of Mistress?

Someone between the Mister and Mattress

**********

Husband asks , "Do u know the meaning of WIFE??

"Without Information Fighting Everytime"

Wife replies," No, It means ,

"With Idiot For Ever!!!"

**********

Three Feelings:

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?

Stress is when wife is pregnant,

Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and

Panic is when both are pregnant.

**********

Teacher: u know the importance of period?

Kid: Ya, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got heart attack & our driver ran away.

**********

Women asked man who is traveling with six children, all these kids are urs ???

No, I work in a condom factory & these are

customer complaints.

**********

Sons asks difference between confidence and confidential

Dad says, you are my son, I'm confident. Your friend is also my son, that's confidential!

**********

Mother to her teenage daughter: I think this is the right time we should talk about sex.

Daughter (Excitingly): Sure mom, tell me what do you want to know.

Mother Faints... --

**********

DEFINITIONS

2008-06-03T03:25:00.000-07:00

1. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

2. Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

3. Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

4. Divorce: Future tense of marriage

5. Lecture: An art of transferring informationfrom the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

6. Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

7. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

8. Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power...

9. Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.

10. Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

11. Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

12. Classic: books which people praise, but do not read.

13. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

14. Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

15. Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

16. Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

18. Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

20. Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

21. Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

22. Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

23. Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

24. Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

25. Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

26. Father: A banker provided by nature.

27. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

28. Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

29. Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after?

30. Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

Don't use mobile inside Toilet!!!

2008-06-01T23:59:00.000-07:00

I was barely sitting down when i heard a vioce from the other stall saying : "Hi, how are you?"

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the men's restroom But i don't know what got into me, so i answered, somewhat embarrassed, "Doin just fine!"

And the other guy says: "So what are you up to?"

What kind of quesion is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so i say: "Uhhh, I'm like you, just travelling!"

At this point im just trying to get out as fast as i can when i hear i hear another question. "Can I come over?"

Ok, this question is just too weird for me but i figured i could just be polite and end the conversation. i tell him, "No....... I'm a little busy right now!!!"

Then i hear guy say nervously... .

Listen. i'll have to call you back. There's is an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my
questions!!!"