First-year students at Veterinary school were attending their first Anatomy class, with a real dead pig.
They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a White sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, 'In Veterinary Medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a Doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the Animal body'. For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, touched his finger in the mouth of the dead pig, withdrew it and put his Finger in his mouth. 'Go ahead and do the same thing,' he told his students.
The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes. But eventually took turns putting their finger in the mouth of the dead pig and tasted in their mouth.
When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said, 'The Second most important quality is observation. I touched with my middle Finger and tasted on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention....
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Very Official Love Letter
To
Juliet
Grade 7.0 S.M
Sub: Offer of love!
Dearest Ms Juliet,
I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 14th of October (Saturday).
With reference to the meeting held between us on the 13th of Oct. At 1500 hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.
Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent.
Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse.
The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses.
However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.
I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else.
I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.
Wish you all the best!
Thanking you in anticipation,
Yours sincerely,
Romeo (HR Manager)
*********
Juliet
Grade 7.0 S.M
Sub: Offer of love!
Dearest Ms Juliet,
I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 14th of October (Saturday).
With reference to the meeting held between us on the 13th of Oct. At 1500 hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.
Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent.
Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse.
The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses.
However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.
I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else.
I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.
Wish you all the best!
Thanking you in anticipation,
Yours sincerely,
Romeo (HR Manager)
*********
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Nepali And American!!!
An Nepali and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would like to play a fun-game.
The Nepali, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.
He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice versa." Again, the Nepali declines and tries to get some sleep.
The American, now worked up, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5,and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $500." This gets the Nepali 's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.
The American asks the first question, "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The Nepali doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet, pulls out a $5 bill and hands it to the American.
"Okay," says the American, "Your turn."
So the Nepali asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The American thinks about it. No answer.
Puzzled, he takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. No answer!
He taps into the air-phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress. No answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and co-workers. Checks the input. All to no avail!
Finally, a long time later, he wakes the Nepali and hands him $500.
The Nepali thanks him and turns back to get his sleep.
The American, more than a little miffed, stirs the Nepali and asks,"Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the Nepali reaches into his purse, hands the American $5, and goes back to sleep!
The Nepali, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.
He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice versa." Again, the Nepali declines and tries to get some sleep.
The American, now worked up, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5,and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $500." This gets the Nepali 's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.
The American asks the first question, "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The Nepali doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet, pulls out a $5 bill and hands it to the American.
"Okay," says the American, "Your turn."
So the Nepali asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The American thinks about it. No answer.
Puzzled, he takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. No answer!
He taps into the air-phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress. No answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and co-workers. Checks the input. All to no avail!
Finally, a long time later, he wakes the Nepali and hands him $500.
The Nepali thanks him and turns back to get his sleep.
The American, more than a little miffed, stirs the Nepali and asks,"Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the Nepali reaches into his purse, hands the American $5, and goes back to sleep!
Friday, June 19, 2009
New Exam Pattern Based on IPL Rules
1. Reduce exam duration to 1 hr and marks to 50.
2. Introduce strategic break after 30 minutes.
3. Give free hit, that is a chance for students to frame their own questions and write answers.
4. 1st 15 minutes power play, that is no invigilator in the exam hall. ( everyone will love this....!!!)
5. Introduce fair play awards.
6. If any wrong question is asked you can give your own answer for the next question
……………….
(FREE HIT……………….. !!!!!!!!!)
7.Cheer girls to cheer for every correct answer written....!!!
2. Introduce strategic break after 30 minutes.
3. Give free hit, that is a chance for students to frame their own questions and write answers.
4. 1st 15 minutes power play, that is no invigilator in the exam hall. ( everyone will love this....!!!)
5. Introduce fair play awards.
6. If any wrong question is asked you can give your own answer for the next question
……………….
(FREE HIT……………….. !!!!!!!!!)
7.Cheer girls to cheer for every correct answer written....!!!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Power of Prayers!!!
A father put his three-year-old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying 'God bless Mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma and good-bye grandpa.'
The father asked, 'Why did you say good-bye grandpa?'
The little girl said, 'I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do.'
The next day grandpa died.
The father thought it was a strange coincidence. A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers, which went like this: 'God bless Mommy, God Bless daddy and good-bye grandma.'
The next day the grandmother died.
Oh my God, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side.
Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say, 'God bless Mommy and good-bye daddy.'
He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound.
Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home. When he got home his wife said, 'HONEY, I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?' He said, 'I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life.'
She said 'You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning our neighbor James dropped dead on our Porch.'
(Provided By: Santosh Shrestha, Software Engineer, SSN)
The father asked, 'Why did you say good-bye grandpa?'
The little girl said, 'I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do.'
The next day grandpa died.
The father thought it was a strange coincidence. A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers, which went like this: 'God bless Mommy, God Bless daddy and good-bye grandma.'
The next day the grandmother died.
Oh my God, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side.
Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say, 'God bless Mommy and good-bye daddy.'
He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound.
Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home. When he got home his wife said, 'HONEY, I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?' He said, 'I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life.'
She said 'You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning our neighbor James dropped dead on our Porch.'
(Provided By: Santosh Shrestha, Software Engineer, SSN)
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
A Sirdar and George Bush
A Sardar ji went to US & had a meeting with George Bush.
Bush: I want to show you the US advancement. Come with me. (He takes him in a deep forest)
Bush: Dig the ground. (Sardarji did it.)
Bush: more..more..more... (Sardarji went up to 100 feet)
Bush: So now, try to search something.
Sardarji: I got a wire.
Bush: you know, it shows that even 100 years ago we used to have telephones. (Sardarji became frustrated.)
He invited Bush to India. Next year Bush had been in India
Sardarji: I want to show you our advancement. (The same, he takes Bush in forest.)
Sardar: dig it. (Bush does.)
Sardar: more...More..More.......... (Bush goes upto almost 400 feet...)
Sardarji: try to find something. (Bush tries.)
Sardarji: did you get anything?
Bush: no.
Sardarji: yes, even 400 years ago we used to have wireless Technology.
Bush: I want to show you the US advancement. Come with me. (He takes him in a deep forest)
Bush: Dig the ground. (Sardarji did it.)
Bush: more..more..more... (Sardarji went up to 100 feet)
Bush: So now, try to search something.
Sardarji: I got a wire.
Bush: you know, it shows that even 100 years ago we used to have telephones. (Sardarji became frustrated.)
He invited Bush to India. Next year Bush had been in India
Sardarji: I want to show you our advancement. (The same, he takes Bush in forest.)
Sardar: dig it. (Bush does.)
Sardar: more...More..More.......... (Bush goes upto almost 400 feet...)
Sardarji: try to find something. (Bush tries.)
Sardarji: did you get anything?
Bush: no.
Sardarji: yes, even 400 years ago we used to have wireless Technology.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Sunday, May 24, 2009
WHY (Can anyone give the answers?)
1. Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
2. Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?
3. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
4. Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
5. Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
6. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
7. Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
8. Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
9. Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lips"?
10. If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
11. Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
12. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
13. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
14. Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
15 Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
16. How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
17. When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
18. Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
19. In Winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in Summer, when we complained about the heat in Summer?
20. How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
2. Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?
3. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
4. Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
5. Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
6. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
7. Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
8. Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
9. Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lips"?
10. If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
11. Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
12. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
13. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
14. Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
15 Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
16. How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
17. When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
18. Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
19. In Winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in Summer, when we complained about the heat in Summer?
20. How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
Friday, May 22, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Man N Woman
The man discovered COLORS and invented PAINT;
the woman discovered PAINT and invented MAKEUP.
The man discovered the WORD and invented CONVERSATION;
the woman discovered CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP.
The man discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOOD;
The woman discovered FOOD and invented DIET.
The man discovered FRIENDSHIP and invented LOVE;
The woman discovered LOVE and invented LOVE TRIANGLES.
The man discovered TRADING and invented MONEY;
the woman discovered MONEY and invented SHOPPING.
Thereafter man has discovered and invented a lot of things…
but the women are still BUSY in shopping……………
(Provided By: Santosh Shrestha, Software Engineer)
the woman discovered PAINT and invented MAKEUP.
The man discovered the WORD and invented CONVERSATION;
the woman discovered CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP.
The man discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOOD;
The woman discovered FOOD and invented DIET.
The man discovered FRIENDSHIP and invented LOVE;
The woman discovered LOVE and invented LOVE TRIANGLES.
The man discovered TRADING and invented MONEY;
the woman discovered MONEY and invented SHOPPING.
Thereafter man has discovered and invented a lot of things…
but the women are still BUSY in shopping……………
(Provided By: Santosh Shrestha, Software Engineer)
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