Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Computer Joke

A wife awoke early one morning to the sounds of her husband angrily banging around pots and pans in the kitchens.
When she goes downstairs, she sees that he is looking for something to eat but, more importantly, is very upset about something.
"What's the problem, darling? Didn't your program work?"
"It worked. I wrote that code until the wee hours of the morning, and it worked!"
"Then what's the matter? Were there a lot of bugs in it?"
"I took special pains to eliminate the bugs. It worked, and it worked perfectly!"
"So what's wrong?"
"I was so tired when I finished, I decided to take a little nap, just for a few minutes."
"Did you not sleep well? Did you have a nightmare?" the concerned wife inquired.
"No, I slept perfectly well ... with my head on the backspace key."

Family Problems.........................

Two men, one American and an Indian were sitting in a bar drinking shot after shot.

The Indian man said to the American,

"You know my parents are forcing me to get married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I haven't even met once. We call this arranged marriage. I don't want to marry a woman whom I don't love...I told them that openly and now I have a hell lot of family problems."

The American said, "Talking about love marriages... I'll tell you my story.

I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 years."After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law.

The American continued,

My daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother. More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother and so he is my uncle. Situations turned worse when my father had a son. Now my father's son I.e. My brother is my grandson. Ultimately, I have become my own grand father and I am my own grandson.

And you say you have family problems.... Give me a break!!"

Friday, January 18, 2008

What is marketing?

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say:
"I am very rich. Marry me!"
That's Direct Marketing



You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says:
"He's very rich. Marry him."
That's Advertising.



You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and get her telephone number.
The next day you call and say:
"Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me."
That's Tele-marketing.



You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
You get up and straighten your tie; you walk up to her and pour her a drink.
You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride
You then say:
"By the way, I'm very rich "Will you marry me?"
That's Public Relations.



You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
She walks up to you and says:
"You are very rich..."
That's Brand Recognition.



You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say:
"I'm rich. Marry me."
She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
That's Customer Feedback.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Still women loves man

Interesting facts

Men are like computers – hard to figure out and never have enough memory Still Women likes man

Men are like coolers – load them with beer and you can take them anywhere Still Women likes man

Men are like chocolate bars – sweet, smooth and they usually head right for your hips Still Women likes man

Men are like coffee – the best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night Still Women likes man

Men are like horoscopes – they always tell you what to do and are usually wrong Still Women likes man

Men are like cement – after getting laid they take a long time to get hard Still Women likes man
Men are like laxatives – they irritate the shit out of you Still Women likes man

Men are like parking spots – the good ones are already taken and what's left is handicapped Still Women likes man

A man is like a snowstorm – you never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long he will last Still Women likes man

What should you give a man who has everything? – A woman to show him how to work it Still Women likes man

How does a man show he's planning for the future? – He buys two cases of beer instead of one. Still Women likes man

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? – The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. Still Women likes man

Why are husbands like lawn mowers? – They're hard to get started, emit foul odours and don't work half the time. Still Women likes man

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? – After a year the dog is still excited to see you. Still Women likes man

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? – Breasts don't have eyes. Still Women likes man

What's the difference between men and government bonds? – Bonds mature Still Women likes man

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? – We don't know, it's never happened Still Women likes man

Why are men like tile floors? – If you lay ' em properly the first time, you can walk over them for years. Still Women likes man

What do you call a man with half a brain? – Gifted. Still Women likes man

AND FINALLY …… Why is it hard for women to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking? – Because these men already have boyfriends! Still Women likes man

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Modern Heights!!!

1. What is height of Fashion?

A. Dhoti with a zip .


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2. What is height of Secrecy?

A. Offering blank visiting cards.


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3. What is height of Active laziness?

A. Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.


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4. What is height of Craziness?

A. Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.


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5. What is height of Forgetfulness?

A. Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.


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6. What is height of Stupidity?

A. A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.

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7. What is height of Honesty?

A. A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.


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8. What is height of Suicide?

A. A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.


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9. What is height of De-hydration?

A. A cow giving milk powder.


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Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Happy New Year-2008


Wishing You,

A Happy & Prosperous 2008,

May this coming year bring peace,

harmony & more promise to brighten our lives!