Chemistry Teacher :- Tom, tell me the chemical symbol of Barium.
Tom :- BA.
Chemistry Teacher :- Good. So tell me the chemical symbol of Sodium.Tom :- NA.
Chemistry Teacher :- Excellent. So tell me what we will get if we combile 1 atom of Barium and 2 atoms of Sodium.
Tom :- BANANA.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Friday, November 26, 2010
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Blonde Detective Training............
A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The first blonde answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"
The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture shows his profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it's a picture of his profile!! Is that the best answer you can come up with?
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" He quickly adds" . . . Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."
The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "Hmmmm . . . The suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer . . . Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. "Wow! I can't believe it...it's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy," the blonde replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear.
The first blonde answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"
The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture shows his profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it's a picture of his profile!! Is that the best answer you can come up with?
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" He quickly adds" . . . Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."
The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "Hmmmm . . . The suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer . . . Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. "Wow! I can't believe it...it's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy," the blonde replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Inspiring Story!!!
One young academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial
position in a big company.
He passed the first interview, the director did the last interview,
made the last decision.
The director discovered from the CV that the youth's academic
achievements were excellent all the way, from the secondary school
until the postgraduate research, never had a year when he did not
score.
The director asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships in school?" the
youth answered "none".
The director asked, " Was it your father who paid for your school
fees?" The youth answered, "My father passed away when I was one year
old, it was my mother who paid for my school fees.
The director asked, " Where did your mother work?" The youth answered,
"My mother worked as clothes cleaner. The director requested the youth
to show his hands. The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth
and perfect.
The director asked, " Have you ever helped your mother wash the
clothes before?" The youth answered, "Never, my mother always wanted
me to study and read more books. Furthermore, my mother can wash
clothes faster than me.
The director said, "I have a request. When you go back today, go and
clean your mother's hands, and then see me tomorrow morning.*
The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he
went back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands.
His mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her
hands to the kid.
The youth cleaned his mother's hands slowly. His tear fell as he did
that. It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so
wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises
were so painful that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with
water.
This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of
hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school
fee. The bruises in the mother's hands were the price that the mother
had to pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future.
After finishing the cleaning of his mother hands, the youth quietly
washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.
That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.
Next morning, the youth went to the director's office.
The Director noticed the tears in the youth's eyes, asked: " Can you
tell me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?"
The youth answered, " I cleaned my mother's hand, and also finished
cleaning all the remaining clothes'
The Director asked, " please tell me your feelings."
The youth said, Number 1, I know now what is appreciation. Without my
mother, there would not the successful me today. Number 2, by working
together and helping my mother, only I now realize how difficult and
tough it is to get something done. Number 3, I have come to appreciate
the importance and value of family relationship.
The director said, " This is what I am looking for to be my manager.
I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a
person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a
person who would not put money as his only goal in life. You are
hired.
Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect
of his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and as a team.
The company's performance improved tremendously.
A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he
wanted, would develop "entitlement mentality" and would always put
himself first. He would be ignorant of his parent's efforts. When he
starts work, he assumes that every person must listen to him, and when
he becomes a manager, he would never know the sufferings of his
employees and would always blame others. For this kind of people, who
may be good academically, may be successful for a while, but
eventually would not feel sense of achievement. He will grumble and be
full of hatred and fight for more. If we are this kind of protective
parents, are we really showing love or are we destroying the kid
instead?*
You can let your kid live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn
piano, watch a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please
let them experience it. After a meal, let them wash their plates and
bowls together with their brothers and sisters. It is not because you
do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love
them in a right way. You want them to understand, no matter how rich
their parents are, one day their hair will grow gray, same as the
mother of that young person. The most important thing is your kid
learns how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and
learns the ability to work with others to get things done.
(Courtesy: Ansar Rafique, Student, Uppsala University)
position in a big company.
He passed the first interview, the director did the last interview,
made the last decision.
The director discovered from the CV that the youth's academic
achievements were excellent all the way, from the secondary school
until the postgraduate research, never had a year when he did not
score.
The director asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships in school?" the
youth answered "none".
The director asked, " Was it your father who paid for your school
fees?" The youth answered, "My father passed away when I was one year
old, it was my mother who paid for my school fees.
The director asked, " Where did your mother work?" The youth answered,
"My mother worked as clothes cleaner. The director requested the youth
to show his hands. The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth
and perfect.
The director asked, " Have you ever helped your mother wash the
clothes before?" The youth answered, "Never, my mother always wanted
me to study and read more books. Furthermore, my mother can wash
clothes faster than me.
The director said, "I have a request. When you go back today, go and
clean your mother's hands, and then see me tomorrow morning.*
The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he
went back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands.
His mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her
hands to the kid.
The youth cleaned his mother's hands slowly. His tear fell as he did
that. It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so
wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises
were so painful that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with
water.
This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of
hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school
fee. The bruises in the mother's hands were the price that the mother
had to pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future.
After finishing the cleaning of his mother hands, the youth quietly
washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.
That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.
Next morning, the youth went to the director's office.
The Director noticed the tears in the youth's eyes, asked: " Can you
tell me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?"
The youth answered, " I cleaned my mother's hand, and also finished
cleaning all the remaining clothes'
The Director asked, " please tell me your feelings."
The youth said, Number 1, I know now what is appreciation. Without my
mother, there would not the successful me today. Number 2, by working
together and helping my mother, only I now realize how difficult and
tough it is to get something done. Number 3, I have come to appreciate
the importance and value of family relationship.
The director said, " This is what I am looking for to be my manager.
I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a
person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a
person who would not put money as his only goal in life. You are
hired.
Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect
of his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and as a team.
The company's performance improved tremendously.
A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he
wanted, would develop "entitlement mentality" and would always put
himself first. He would be ignorant of his parent's efforts. When he
starts work, he assumes that every person must listen to him, and when
he becomes a manager, he would never know the sufferings of his
employees and would always blame others. For this kind of people, who
may be good academically, may be successful for a while, but
eventually would not feel sense of achievement. He will grumble and be
full of hatred and fight for more. If we are this kind of protective
parents, are we really showing love or are we destroying the kid
instead?*
You can let your kid live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn
piano, watch a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please
let them experience it. After a meal, let them wash their plates and
bowls together with their brothers and sisters. It is not because you
do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love
them in a right way. You want them to understand, no matter how rich
their parents are, one day their hair will grow gray, same as the
mother of that young person. The most important thing is your kid
learns how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and
learns the ability to work with others to get things done.
(Courtesy: Ansar Rafique, Student, Uppsala University)
Thursday, June 24, 2010
What an Awesome Reply!!!
It was a hot meeting at the office conference hall. All the people from the department had been called. The VP was looking much tensed.
The mood was so bad. My friend asked me -”Hey, what is this meeting all about? I told – May be they will decide on when to have the next meeting. People around smiled at each other.
Then the VP started talking. It was about the recent attrition rate that was so high. Around 10 people had put in their papers. All experienced guys. It was quarter end and so work was huge. If we do not complete the work on time, we need to be paying heavy penalty said the VP. The VP turned to the manager and told “Hey – take how much ever resources you want. Recruit or take them from other departments. But complete the work in another 25 days. Take people and complete it man.
To this the sweet manager replied “Sir! Give me one wife and nine months and I shall show you results. Don’t give me nine wives and one month. I cannot do anything.” Everyone looked at him blank. The VP was not prepared for this answer. We looked at the manager and thought “What an Awesome Reply man!”
Friday, March 5, 2010
Legal and Logical!!!
After having failed his exam in "Logistics and Organization", a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.
Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?"
Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!"
Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an "A" for the exam. "
Professor: "Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?"
Student: "What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal?"
Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an "A", as agreed.
Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.
He immediately answers: "Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife's lover an "A", although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical."
Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?"
Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!"
Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an "A" for the exam. "
Professor: "Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?"
Student: "What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal?"
Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an "A", as agreed.
Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.
He immediately answers: "Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife's lover an "A", although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
