Why the Call Center Guys are Paid so Much

1) Tech Support : "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer : "Ok."
Tech Support : "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer : "Sure, you told me to write 'click'
and I wrote 'click'."

------------ --------- --------- ----------

2) Customer : "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."
Tech : "Did you install the update?"
Customer : "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

3)Customer : "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech : "Tell me what you've done."
Customer : "I typed 'A: SETUP'."
Tech : "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer : "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech : "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer : "What?"
Tech : "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer : "No..."

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

4) Customer : "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

5) Tech : "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, canyou see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer : "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
Tech : ##### ***

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

6) Tech : "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer : "A white one."
Tech : ******_____# ###

------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------

7) Tech : "What operating system are you running?"
Customer : "Pentium."
Tech : ////-----+++

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

8). Customer : "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."
Tech : ??????

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

9).Cus tomer : "I have Microsoft Exploder."
Tech : ?!%#$

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

10).Customer : "How do I print my voicemail?"
Tech : ??????

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

11). Customer : "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech : "What does it say?"
Customer : "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech : "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer : "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
Tech : @@@@@

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

12). Tech : "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're
open 24 hours."
Customer : "Is that Eastern time?"

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

13). Tech : "What does the screen say now?"
Customer : "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech : "Well?"
Customer : "How do I know when it's ready?"
Tech : *** ---- ++++

------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------

The best of the lot
14) A plain computer illiterate guy rings Tech Support to report that his computer is faulty.
Tech : What's the problem?
User : There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech : (keep quite)
Tech : You'll need a new power supply.
User : No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech : Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.
User : No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.
Tech : 10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.
Tech : (hush hush)
Tech : Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.
User : I knew it!
Tech : Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS . Let me know how it goes.

(10 minutes later)
User : It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech : Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User : MS-DOS 6.22.
Tech : That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes.

(1 hour later)
User : I need a new power supply.
Tech : How did you come to that conclusion?
Tech : (hush hush)
User : Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply.
Tech : Then what did he say?
User : He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Heights Of all (Too Good)

15) Customer care officer : I need a product identification number right now and may I help u in finding it out?
Cust : sure
CCO : could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?
Cust : I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?

(Provided By: Surendra Narayan Yadav)